* July 27, 2007 *

"But Peter and John answered and said to them, 'Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.'" - Acts 4:19-20

"What can mortal man do to me? If God is for me, who can be against me?" - Psalm 118:6; Hebrews 13:6

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Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to walk into this situation here in Beijing! Darkness abounds as does oppression and a lack of love. But ... victory is coming, I hope sooner than later.

I think it was on Tuesday or Wednesday that I had a chat with Ray. The night before that Papa really prepared me for the battle that began with Ray only hours afterward. Since I came here, the fact that I loved others and love God has been getting me into trouble. This is no joke! This by all accounts via frequent email updates is portrayed as a Christian home ... but I am questioning that greatly. Moreso, I know the greatest commandment and chose to live by it rather than legalistically stick to a daily routine with these nine kids and the workers here.

Thus, a few days ago I chose not to talk with Ray his way (webcam and voice chat) but only type chat with him. I also refused to let him speak with Jun Ling because I knew that his words to her would be lies and only hurt her. He also didn't get to see his kids here since I refused to turn on the webcam. Our talk was horrendous to say the least and led to many other unknown repercussions ... but those things had to be done. I HAD TO STAND UP FOR LOVE AND CHRIST!!!

Well, my actions also officially got me kicked out of the house, but I refused to leave and am staying until August 2nd as scheduled. I know that my happiness here doesn't matter at all (I haven't been very happy today either) but what DEFINITELY matters is obeying Christ. That is why I stay on. It is not because I don't have anywhere else to go; I stay because Jesus wants me to love those here! I must obey him no matter what, and I know He is pleased in my obedience. :)

This was a costly decision! It is always costly through if you truly follow Christ because the roaring adversary WILL seek you out to devour you. I am confident though that I am not alone in this. Papa is walking with me on this just as He came into the fire with Daniel's friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. He has a work to do in me and all those here and in Ray back in the US. So, for the rest of my time here I live as an invisible person.

I do hope that I will soon get to see my friend Daryl though. He is an inspiration to me, and we really need to catch up on things openly. I miss him when I'm in the US, but as I've told him, I'm glad that he's here to love the Chinese and share Papa. So few are willing to come here ... but he was eager to come here in Jan. 2001 when I first met him. He's stayed on for most of those six years so fars as a I know too. But we really need to cath cup and I do want to encourage him a bunch! :)

Speaking of encouragement, I've wanted to write down many of the funny things that happened here or that make me smile. It's hard to find the time to write when you've got 9-10 kids to keep up with. So here's the list ---

* James mops the tv
* Blaza gets excited and show his smartness on starfall.com
* John John gives me all out knee hugs and leg flops
* James wears my flip flops through the house
* David tries to bust down the door to set Grandma free from the kitchen
* Six kids surround me simultaneously to love me
* John John says, " I love you" and "Amanda" to me multiple times
* Hugs, kisses, and late night (up to 5 or 6 AM) because of James' emotionalism
* Joanna warms up to me and says "yes"
* Get to feed and hold Sarah for an hour at 7:30 AM
* James says my feet are stinky and avidly sniffs at them to check them out
* Rebecah laughing!
* "Amanda, no go bye bye" said by James daily or nearly daily
* Talks with Diane and encouragement
* Blaza sings with me and to me
* Phoebe cries until I hold her and make her "fly" and "shake it baby"
* Dancing with the kids!
* Hannah gently strokes my arms and face
* Fixing Hannah and Rebecah's hair nice with "girly" stuff
* James' eye-roll silly face
* Blaza showing me affection and allowing me to show him affection
* Teaching David, Hannah, and James about mercy
* Sarah smiles!
* Joanna's gentle touch and hugs
* Grandma's smile and seeing her definitely love on the kids
* Ice cream and music with Xiao Fei
* The hour-long Chinese talk with Jun Ling (what grace!)
* John John dancing and talking
* Xiao Xue's helpfulness with the kids and broken heart about not wanting me to
* Diane salad (with M&M's and bananas) and Hannah banana sandwiches
* Dancing with John John