Back At Square One Ten Months Later

Current mood: adventurous

The long, hard year in Bed-Stuy is over! 179 days of being cursed out (usually multiple times a day), being disrespected and ignored, being unsupported too many times, being treated without dignity, being thought of as a female dog, and being the bearer of reverse discrimination and prejudice ... it is all over. Regardless of what anyone thinks about me or my classes this past year, I know with certainty that I accomplished my goals for the year as a teacher - to love others well, to be a light in a dark place, to give my all in everything I did, and to create a practical music curriculum for my school out of nothing. I do not regret enduring all of the above for I believe that I will likely never come to see the full impact of my work and time there and that the seeds I planted will work deeply into the lives of so many, planting hearty roots that bear much good fruit eventually.

Now life transitions into I know not what exactly. I got a text this week that was promising from a friend who teaches in the Bronx. He said his principal is going to call me next week. If I get the job, then I'd be co-teaching special education in a middle school classroom with my friend Nathan. It would be wonderful for both of us, an answer to prayers, and the crucial element currently lacking for me to start grad school this August. I really hope it works out! In the mean time, I go on with life taking in a major part of NYC culture this weekend and begin a paid three-week seminar in the Bronx on Monday. The rest of my summer promises to be fun, filled with time with my new friends, and full of adventure.

As for a summer job, I plan on taking time next week to pray some more and really consider my options (which abound because it's NYC). I am really thinking that this may be one of the few times when I have no clear direction and simply have to make a choice knowing that whatever I choose will be blessed. I don't say that lightly; I just know that myself and many others have been praying about my job and the summer since May, and I still don't know which option to take. I recognize though I HAVE options which in and of itself is quite a blessing! So my options are the following: working for MTV, working for one of the airlines based here, working for a summer camp here, working for Starbucks, and/or teaching guitar lessons to a friend's daughter.

I will also be considering where to move next in this city. I am really far away from my friends up here and greatly desire to move closer to them. If I stay where I am and get the job in the Bronx, I would also be SUPER far from work! I just don't want that combination. I'm also not sleeping too well here now because of where my room is located in the house. Light and sounds are magnified and shine intensely into my room. That means for months now, I've been getting woken up usually twice a day if not more. I would love to move to the East Village, but it probably won't happen because of high rental costs there. Very likely, I will move to the South Bronx near Yankee Stadium which would be fine with me.

I'm going to put this last part in here because I want to be transparent and share a part of how NYC has reshaped me. This weekend and for the rest of my time in NYC I really plan on making lots of friends with homosexuals. I want them in my life. I am going to two big events this weekend, the NYC Dyke March and the Pride Parade. I'm not gay, but I really want to see these events for myself and to show kindness to those there. They need friends too and lots of people show so much hatred to them simply because they are homosexual (even here in liberal NYC). It is wrong to treat people that way, and I don't want to be another hater in their lives. They've already had too many come into their lives anyways. There's a school here that is linked to a Harvey Milk organization; I'd like to teach there some day. I'd also really like to work/volunteer with an AIDS organization here. That is another major part of culture and life here. I am so glad that AIDS and homosexuality can be openly discussed here rather than feared as it is in the South. I don't think having that mindset helps.

Well, that is the latest update. Will share more when I know more. Love you all and look forward to hearing from you.

Hugs - Amanda Kay