Depression Has Set In Hard

I have about a day and a half left in China now. I am trying to make myself happier and not be sad about leaving … but I’m afraid that my efforts simply aren’t working much. I am simply really sad to be leaving so many friends behind and my home on Earth. I have decided that this is what China has become in my heart. I truly love China and its many, diverse people. I am trying to accept Papa’s plan for me to go back to America though it is extremely difficult for me now. Yet I know that His plans are always best and right.



This morning I watched a lot of Chinese TV I think mostly because I am so down now about leaving. Around 11 AM, Jun Ling and her son arrived here. There were no buses for her to make it here at 10 AM. I really love them both and am glad that we were able to spend more time together. We went to an Olympic venue close by, perhaps the soccer stadium. I really don’t know which venue it is, but it is in Shunyi. Afterwards, we did a little more walking and then went to McDonald’s. I treated everybody to show Tai Dar love. He enjoys McDonald’s and mentioned it yesterday. I really enjoyed loving on him and his mama through a McDonald’s meal. :)



I still hope and pray to see Daryl. I tried to use the hotel’s telephone but couldn’t because it only allows in-house calls. I will try a little later to contact him again. I hope to see him soon and get a picture with him before I return a photo shop’s camera. I am just discouraged now.



(9:22 PM) Still depressed that I am leaving soon … but Papa did allow me to finally connect with Daryl this evening. We made plans to connect tomorrow and spend my last day together. I will again need Papa’s help for that. This afternoon I went out to take more pictures of Beijing. I went to the nearby park and enjoyed its sights. My favorite part was the greenhouse. I wished that I were staying to buy a plant.



My depression has let me watch some very lovely footage of places in China. Now I am watching a travelogue show about Zhangjiajie in Hunan Province. It is extremely lovely. The Tuja people live here. I hope that I will be able to go there some day. It makes me think of my dear Chinese brother and makes me want to travel with him and take a yearly trip with him if I live long-term in China again. (This place has the world’s only giant salamanders! They’re cute!)



Earlier today or yesterday I watched a similar type show about Lushan. It also showed Jiujiang. Both are in Jianxi Province and are cities on the Yangtze River. Lushan is also home to Guling American School and Pearl S. Buck. I need to learn more. Edward Selby Little (an English missionary) also had a major influence here.



This entry is not chronological and a bit random, but there are two more parts of my day that I’d like to write about. The first is about my dinner. Tonight I ate at the hostel. I can’t read the menu much, and so, I just ordered something cheap. I truly had no clue what I was ordering and just literally prayed that it would be good in taste. It was a shredded cabbage in soy sauce dish. It really made me think how much more I need to learn Chinese.



Secondly and lastly, I thought about things with Ray, and it made me come to one heartfelt conclusion. This is the conclusion – Where man fails me, God cannot! I am sad that he (Ray) continues to harm folks here and in the US. I will continue to pray for him, his heart, and those here that I love and soon leave behind. I know though that had these things not come to pass that I could not have met Daryl and have done other things. It is His hand working in a Joseph-esque situation. I pray that others will understand this part of my time in China, as it will be very hard to explain back home.



But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good … - Genesis 50:20

Three Entries in One Day

(Noonish) I slept in this morning after staying up late talking for a very long time with a dear Chinese friend, watching the news, and then, a discussion among 20-something Chinese and Americans. It was good to sleep in; I realize that it is one of the most enjoyable things for me that I will have to live with less and less. I thought of a dear friend back in America a lot this morning (and last night too). I really want to marry … but I’m almost scared to say that because of what happened with my friend Matt from the past.



I tried to find an Internet café oh so unsuccessfully this morning too. I did however find and buy a wonderful Chinese-English dictionary for myself and a Doctor Seuss book for my Chinese children. They loved his A, B, C book! :) I am excited to give this to them through Jun Ling, and it excites me also because it to is in Chinese and English. That means that even little Tai Dar can enjoy this book!



I don’t know what else the day holds, but I need some rest and a shower soon. I have walked the nearby streets several times exploring and searching for this net café. I am going to sleep now. :)



(4:01 PM) I am still waiting here at my hostel for Jun Ling to arrive here for a visit. She said that she would come back after 2 PM. I enjoyed my time here this afternoon, but definitely am wanting to go out again. I am really hoping that I can exchange my dictionary for one with Pinyin. (I bought the wrong kind in my excitement; they don’t usually exchange but I am hoping that Papa will answer my prayers.)



This afternoon I had a long nap and then prayed for Chinese friends I’ve met along the way this trip. I am amazed at how many friends I’ve seen and made this time. I really am wanting to return to China and stay long-term. It is my home on Earth. All summer long, I’ve had peace being here and not felt really that I was in China but simply “home.” I’d like to study Chinese in America and improve. I am sloppy with my tones, which is everything in Chinese! That is why I also need to return this dictionary so that I can have Pinyin.



I am amazed at Papa today too. I watched a TV program about a seven-year old Chinese girl (Weiwei) with a really bad esophagus. I had never thought about how if your esophagus is bad that you can’t eat, and if you can’t eat, then, you can’t live! This little girl was really close to dying. I prayed for her and am glad to have seen Papa’s amazing handiwork!!! :)



(8:49 PM) I am sad that I only have two more days here in China before flying to Japan and America. I will leave a bigger part of my heart here this time. I want to come back and live indefinitely here, but that is up to Dad. I know that He wants me back to teach in the US for one more year, but I really do hope to return after that.

Today Jun Ling came around 4:30 PM. The rain kept her from coming sooner. I really love her and her son. We all went to Xinhua, and God did a miracle. After two unsuccessful attempts, Papa provided, and my book was exchanged. I am very thankful for your help Dad and Jun Ling’s help too. My exchange bought her some English CD’s too. Now I have the correct dictionary to stay in contact with her and my other friends in preparing myself to learn Chinese and become fluent in Mandarin and hopefully Hakka too. I must be diligent!



Jun Ling also brought my Bible. I am glad to have it too! I need Papa’s comforting words. I know that I’m emotional about leaving. It is His plan … but still I am a bit sad. Yet now, I think of rejoicing in the Lord always (Philippians 4:4). I am truly glad for this summer in China. I am glad to visit the incredibly lovely and large park just next door. I am a sucker for its beautiful, colorful neon lights. I would like to visit it again in the day.



One last thing before I close this journal out … Papa provided an Internet café tonight. It was just three spots down. It is hidden in the corner though, and if I had gone a little later I’d have totally missed it as there was not light to show the way. What a good Papa I have. He provides all things for me! He loves me so! Still praying and hoping to see Daryl. Only Papa can connect us in this massive city. Please may it be so. I really need to chill out … I can tell that I’m super emotional on the inside.



AH … A FULL JOURNAL. :)

Get the Shakles Off My Feet … I Just Want to Praise Him!

- 7月 29曰 2007 –

Today was my last day with kids and ladies. I am still in Beijing but packed my things and left around 12:30 PM. Jun Ling came back this morning around 9:00 AM, and after we studied together, she took me in the back room privately. Communication was difficult but was prayed over. What she said was that Ray sent her an email saying he would take money from her for me not leaving. He tells her that she isn’t listening to him. She simply didn’t know how to solve this dilemma, so with tears in her eyes, she asked me about going to a hotel.

Honestly, I hadn’t planned on leaving until August 2, but Papa gave me peace to go early. He showed me last night that things were back on track, and I realized after she and I talked that my departure today would bring peace. So, I spent one to two hours packing my many bags and checking to make sure I got everything. Ironically, I left my Bible, but Jun Ling is planning to look for it and bring it to me tomorrow. I do believe that today is still a part of this amazing adventure and that I was obedient to Jesus. I am thankful to see the changes in David last night, to get to say goodbye to all of my friends in that house, and to know that they truly love me and didn’t want me to leave. They cried and told me not to go, but for their sakes I had to leave today.

Jun Ling is a wonderful friend and lady. She and her son came with me to this hostel, and she helped me check-in. At first, I just stayed in the room here and prayed. Then, I realized that I was FREE, so I went out to explore and go for a walk. I enjoyed smelling the roses in the garden, seeing the dragonflies glide here and there, seeing the Beijing people, and learning where in Beijing I am. I haven’t known where I am living in BJ, so I took the walk.

It is soooooooooo coool to see Papa be who he is which is the Ever Faithful One. He let me follow some foreign, English speaking ladies down the street. Then, I decided to go into what looked like a supermarket, but it turns out it’s this inside flea market essentially. At one of the little shops, there was a poster of a Buddhist goddess with a swastika on her chest. It broke my heart to see that, and three Chinese teens saw me briefly looking at it with a sad face. I was walking away, but one girl said in Chinese that I was sad because I was a Christian. I turned around and shook my head “yes.” It amazed the girl, and she was like, “Wah! She understands my Chinese!” I walked out with a smile. :)

Well, my exploration continued. I decided to walk across the street just to see what was down there. Again, Papa’s hands directing me! It turns out just down that street are fruit markets, a camera shop, McDonald’s, KFC, and Xinhua Bookstore. They were all joyful sights! I went in the bookstore and asked for a map of Beijing. Quickly, I was on my way to learning where exactly I am. It was good to know! :) I decided to walk to the hostel to make sure I could remember the way. My prayers to learn the way were answered, and I easily made it back. To my surprise, someone was waving and calling my name. I thought maybe they weren’t even really talking to me, but as I got a little closer, I saw that it was Jun Ling. She had come back to get me because she couldn’t exchange $100 without my passport. So, off we went.

Jun Ling really has proved herself to be my dear friend. I know she loves me much, and I could tell that she enjoyed being with me. She plans to come see me tomorrow in fact. Well, she helped me get the money to pay this hostel’s bill, see more of BJ briefly, and get some lunch around 3 PM. We stayed together for about an hour, and I saw her off at the bus stop. Before she left earlier today, she made sure I knew about the hostel’s meal times, and so I came back after going out again for a nice, huge bowl of soup (cucumbers, eggs, green onions).

I feel that I should pray tonight … so I’ll stay here for at least a long while to do that. My God is faithful and has given me one of the most amazing lives I know about! I REALLY LOVE HIM AND HAVE JOY. :)

God cannot be a liar. - Hebrews 6:18

He that hath my commandments, and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me: and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself to him. …Jesus answered and said unto him, ‘If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.’ – John 14:21, 23

For God is not unrighteous to forget your work and labor of love, which you have showed toward his name, in that you have ministered to the saints, and do minister. - Hebrews 6:10

Psalm 140 sums up my time at Ray’s house and this battle for righteousness well!

* In KFC, I heard “My Girl” which made me think of Sister Act’s “My God” and the Motown song that says “How sweet it is to be loved by you” which made me think of God and a dear friend back home. *

Demons In My Face

I am exhausted; I think today was my hardest day yet. I finally fell to the dark forces and got frustrated at Hannah. I saw in my heart that I wanted to repay evil for evil rather than repay evil with good. I hit her only slightly with the door, but realized that part of me actually wanted to hurt her; I immediately repented to her.

Around that same time, Blaza also got demon-possessed briefly. He has autism, which is how things with him got started. If things aren’t done in the same routine, then he freaks out. I turned off his music, which he loves, as discipline for him not listening to me. I needed and wanted him to calm down and sit on the couch, but he didn’t do that after several requests. He freaked out for sure and eventually came at me. I was standing directly in front of the TV and DVD player. At first he was just normal, but then his face changed. It really looked exactly like the little demon boy in “The Passion” (movie) whose face changes. It was scary, but I just said right to the demon and Blaza, “In the name of Jesus sit down on the couch.” He immediately did so! I honestly thought as he headed straight for my face that he might bite me or attack me, but thankfully he didn’t; he just got right up in my face, and then, I said what I did knowing I had power. What a powerful name “Jesus” is!!!

Later tonight, I went in to check on Rebecah and Hannah. I sent them to bed early because they weren’t listening or obeying when I tried to teach them the Bible. I gave them warnings, but their misbehavior continued. What a sight to walk into their room! Rebecah had been peeling off the velour on the kids’ dresser. I made her clean it up and then I asked her why she did it; she couldn’t give me a reason. It was a really awful mess, and for me, this only makes things worse. I have begun to pray that I can be the scapegoat for all the bad and demonic here so that those I leave behind can have things go well for them. It really makes me think of Jesus; he took ALL our bad and all the blame so that we definitely could have a good life. I am going to try and get some EXTREMELY TO THE MAX needed sleep. Only a few more days here … and I continue to have mixed emotions about that. I am very thankful for the upcoming five days in Japan. It is good to have them as a relaxer before jumping back head first into American culture and my job. Thanks Papa!!!

Oh, before I forget, on the plus side I saw David be a friend and love his brother James and sister Hannah for the first time today. I think I finally got a piece of his heart. Tonight before bed he let me give him a hug and a kiss goodnight and told me, “Amanda, no go bye bye.” It made me smile cause it’s the opposite of what he’s been saying lately, and I didn’t expect him to ever say it.

Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get his help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. (James 1:2-5)

Demons in the House

“Oh Lord, I know the way of man is not in himself. It is not in man who walks to direct his own steps.” (Jeremiah 10.23)

“Learn to do good; seek justice, rebuke the oppressor; defend the fatherless, plead for the widow.” (Isaiah 1.17)

“His delight is in the fear of the Lord, and He shall not judge by the sight of His eyes, nor decide by the sight of His eyes, nor decide by the hearing of His ears; but with righteousness He shall judge the poor, and decide with equity for the meek of the earth; He shall strike the earth with the rod of His mouth, and with the breath of His lips He shall slay the wicked. Righteousness shall be the belt of His loins, and faithfulness the belt of His waist.” (Isaiah 11.3-5)

“For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.” (Galatians 6.8-10)

This is for real (but has been hidden for I don’t know how long) that demons live in this house. It is the wildest things to see them possess people here. For four days now, I have personally witnessed them make things go insane here. I have heard of similar stories on the mission field, but I think if I weren’t here to see it with my own eyes that I wouldn’t believe it to be true.

Here’s what’s been going down. First an email went out about me to 500 people. Their task is to pray me out of this house. Since that time, I have seen Xiao Fei turn against me and live and act by Ray’s law. Only when I prayed for her in my heart did she stop being demon possessed and act with love and kindness like the old Xiao Fei.

The kids have been super emotional way more than the normal. I truly think that it is an attempt by Satan to get me frustrated rather than continue to turn to Jesus and plead for help. They were sleeping through the night and well health-wise. Several had/have badly running noses, lots of congestion, and fevers now. A major diaper rash that was healed is now back on strong. And somehow, Rebecah got an injured shoulder while sleeping through the night. James is now sucking his thumb, and Hannah is telling me to go home; both love me, and this shows me that they are going backwards. Blaza is too; he scavenged for food last night in a major way.

Aside from those things, several things have stopped working. My digital camera won’t work, my phone is acting up badly, and the toilet nearly overflowed and then wouldn’t flush properly several times yesterday. It might seem silly, but I prayed for it (the toilet), and it started working after that. :) The biggest thing that’s stopped working is the computer. It suddenly started getting run time errors and didn’t work quickly. The guy has come twice to fix it. This means that Ray can’t see or talk with the kids and folks here; that really aggravates him and adds fuel to fire from the adversary.

On a personal note, my phone not working well and the computer not working means that the Punk (Satan) is keeping others from being able to know about the situation to pray. I am hoping that those things will end soon, but it definitely teaches me all the more why China is so full of darkness. Praise Papa that His Spirit is bigger and stronger and has let me communicate with some others about the situation, so thankfully that more folks in the Family could fight on my side – the side of Victory!

Last night, I decided to anoint the rooms of the house with oil and pray. I was hearing the demons within the house as I literally have for four days now. That was at 2:30 in the morning after staying up late to prove myself a worthy worker here and show Blaza, Xiao Fei, and Grandma the love. I had peace more and more as I prayed out the demons in each of the rooms and blessed this house and its people.

Just as I lay down and was about to fall asleep, James came in my room very scared. I am really wondering if he is not only sensitive in the natural but also in the spiritual like little Samuel in the temple. Little James loves to pray and learn about Jesus with me. He will be greatly used to share the Gospel with others in China I know. Well, I comforted James and stayed up to get him back to sleep until almost four. That is okay because though I desired sleep I was willing to stay up however long needed out of love to Jesus and James. He will always be in my heart, and I wonder if I could ever adopt him. I know he’d love it! :) (James: Amanda, come back.)

I actually don’t know what time I finally fell asleep because after James went to sleep I went back to my room and prayed and rejoiced for a long while. I guess it must have been between 5 and 6 AM. I haven’t gotten much sleep here since I came and am eating less and less. The need to forsake food and sleep to simply pray is truly that great! It is the power from Jesus that will make this sad situation become good like Joseph’s story and time in Egypt. Rest assured in my heart, I am resolute that LOVE will win out and that HIS victory for those here is coming!

“Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might. Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in heavenly places. Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm. Stand firm therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. With all prayer and petition pray at all times in the Spirit, and with this in view, be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints. And pray on my behalf, that utterance may be given to me in the opening of my mouth, to make known with boldness the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains; that in proclaiming it I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak. Grace be with all those who love our Lord Jesus Christ with incorruptible love.” (Ephesians 6.10-20, 24)

Poem and Thoughts For the Day

All I have and all I am is

because of You.

All my love and kindness

comes from You.

For YOU ALONE are the source

of Joy, Peace, Strength, & Love.

Oh thank you Jesu for the joy you've given to me today. I know I'm supposed to be here. You've confirmed that through so many sources in the past 24 hours. I am very glad to walk through this difficult time WITH You! I thank you for the strength you've given me. May your joy and love abound here even after I depart. :)

* July 27, 2007 *

"But Peter and John answered and said to them, 'Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than to God, you judge. For we cannot but speak the things which we have seen and heard.'" - Acts 4:19-20

"What can mortal man do to me? If God is for me, who can be against me?" - Psalm 118:6; Hebrews 13:6

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to walk into this situation here in Beijing! Darkness abounds as does oppression and a lack of love. But ... victory is coming, I hope sooner than later.

I think it was on Tuesday or Wednesday that I had a chat with Ray. The night before that Papa really prepared me for the battle that began with Ray only hours afterward. Since I came here, the fact that I loved others and love God has been getting me into trouble. This is no joke! This by all accounts via frequent email updates is portrayed as a Christian home ... but I am questioning that greatly. Moreso, I know the greatest commandment and chose to live by it rather than legalistically stick to a daily routine with these nine kids and the workers here.

Thus, a few days ago I chose not to talk with Ray his way (webcam and voice chat) but only type chat with him. I also refused to let him speak with Jun Ling because I knew that his words to her would be lies and only hurt her. He also didn't get to see his kids here since I refused to turn on the webcam. Our talk was horrendous to say the least and led to many other unknown repercussions ... but those things had to be done. I HAD TO STAND UP FOR LOVE AND CHRIST!!!

Well, my actions also officially got me kicked out of the house, but I refused to leave and am staying until August 2nd as scheduled. I know that my happiness here doesn't matter at all (I haven't been very happy today either) but what DEFINITELY matters is obeying Christ. That is why I stay on. It is not because I don't have anywhere else to go; I stay because Jesus wants me to love those here! I must obey him no matter what, and I know He is pleased in my obedience. :)

This was a costly decision! It is always costly through if you truly follow Christ because the roaring adversary WILL seek you out to devour you. I am confident though that I am not alone in this. Papa is walking with me on this just as He came into the fire with Daniel's friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. He has a work to do in me and all those here and in Ray back in the US. So, for the rest of my time here I live as an invisible person.

I do hope that I will soon get to see my friend Daryl though. He is an inspiration to me, and we really need to catch up on things openly. I miss him when I'm in the US, but as I've told him, I'm glad that he's here to love the Chinese and share Papa. So few are willing to come here ... but he was eager to come here in Jan. 2001 when I first met him. He's stayed on for most of those six years so fars as a I know too. But we really need to cath cup and I do want to encourage him a bunch! :)

Speaking of encouragement, I've wanted to write down many of the funny things that happened here or that make me smile. It's hard to find the time to write when you've got 9-10 kids to keep up with. So here's the list ---

* James mops the tv
* Blaza gets excited and show his smartness on starfall.com
* John John gives me all out knee hugs and leg flops
* James wears my flip flops through the house
* David tries to bust down the door to set Grandma free from the kitchen
* Six kids surround me simultaneously to love me
* John John says, " I love you" and "Amanda" to me multiple times
* Hugs, kisses, and late night (up to 5 or 6 AM) because of James' emotionalism
* Joanna warms up to me and says "yes"
* Get to feed and hold Sarah for an hour at 7:30 AM
* James says my feet are stinky and avidly sniffs at them to check them out
* Rebecah laughing!
* "Amanda, no go bye bye" said by James daily or nearly daily
* Talks with Diane and encouragement
* Blaza sings with me and to me
* Phoebe cries until I hold her and make her "fly" and "shake it baby"
* Dancing with the kids!
* Hannah gently strokes my arms and face
* Fixing Hannah and Rebecah's hair nice with "girly" stuff
* James' eye-roll silly face
* Blaza showing me affection and allowing me to show him affection
* Teaching David, Hannah, and James about mercy
* Sarah smiles!
* Joanna's gentle touch and hugs
* Grandma's smile and seeing her definitely love on the kids
* Ice cream and music with Xiao Fei
* The hour-long Chinese talk with Jun Ling (what grace!)
* John John dancing and talking
* Xiao Xue's helpfulness with the kids and broken heart about not wanting me to
* Diane salad (with M&M's and bananas) and Hannah banana sandwiches
* Dancing with John John

Love --- What's It's All About!

I am okay physically and there is much, MUCH grace for me to be here. Darkness and oppression abound in this home though oh so needlessly. I do not understand all of the sources of this darkness, but I know that things have got to change around here. It may be hard for me to stand my ground, but I refuse to back down from standing on Jesus' words that love is what it's all about in life.

"Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?" Jesus said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the first and greates commandment. And the second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself." - Matthew 22:36-39

"If I have not love, I am nothing." - 1 Corinthians 13:2

Whew, What a Day!

- July 20-21, 2007 -

The past two days have been such incredibly busy days for me. They have also been such incredibly tiring and delightfully joyful days for me too though! Yesterday, the four amigos were wild, and thus, I really had to discipline them. It was my least favorite part of the day, fo sho! Yet, I know it is needed, and I saw it bear much good fruit today!

All the children really do love me so much. They are learning and adjusting to life without their adopted dad Ray and life with Amanda. I love that they just simply call me "Amanda." I really like life without titles like "Miss" and "Mister." It's so much more personal and real to me when things are that way ... but it is difficult to say the least to convince people in the US South of that. Argh! :-)

I got loved on so much today by them and had a lot of fun dancing with them and enjoying music together. They really liked it especially Blaza. I think Grandma Guo liked seeing it too. I sang to them and taught some songs to Hannah and James. They were so cute to watch sing.

Tonight I was given a list of 15 pages of daily "To Do's" from Jun Ling. The list is from Ray and a little from Diane. I don't think I can keep up with the complete list, and I don't agree with some of the demands here, but I have set my heart on not worrying about it and simply pleasing the Father. That is more important than anything.

"And whatever you do, do it heartily as to the Lord and not to men knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ." -- Colossians 3.23-24

Beijing Kiddos

- July 18-19, 2007 -

I made it safely here to the house where I will stay for the next two weeks around noon on Wednesday. Shortly after I walked in the door, two of the nine kiddos greeted me by name. I was surprised, but my heart was so warmed by the fact that these kids already knew me! :)

Last night, I started right away giving away my love and Jesus' love to these kids. They are all so cute and such a joy to love on. It is definitely challenging to have any "down" time or alone time because the children love me so much. I dearly love them too and realize that my help comes at a dear price both for me and them. For the next two weeks of my life, I will be quite busy learning to be a "mama" with disabled children, but that is a joyful delight. :) I am thankful for my year teaching Pre-K in Grand Ridge perhaps now more than ever.

Let me introduce my children to you. There is Sarah (three months old) with a cleft lip. She is a smiley, content baby unless she is hungry or dirty. Next, there are Joanna and Phoebe; they are less than one year old and not able to walk or crawl yet it seems. Phoebe also has a cleft lip, and Joanna has scoliosis (45% curvature of the spine) and is perhaps profoundly mentally retarded. John John is the next oldest and is around one year old. He is such a cutie pie and really puts away the groceries! When the person with food moves, he scoots quickly after them in his walker. He is going to be a big, loving Chinese guy and can nearly walk and talk.

Now come the four amigos - Rebecah (two years old), James (three years old), Hannah (four years old), and David (four years old). These little guys really have such distinct personalities! Rebecah enjoys playing, climbing, dancing, and loves to laugh. (She reminds me of my three year old neice Calianna.) James is a sensitive, emotional little guy who's love language is definitely touch; he finds joy and comfort in me simply kissing him, holding him, and tickling him. Thus, I hold him and love on him often. He really does love me so much. Hannah has long black hair and has James' love language. She enjoys sitting with me and reading in my lap or playing with my hair and face. David is very easy to please and is the strong one of the bunch both emotionally and physicaly. Yesterday, he ran into the door several times trying to break it down to rescue Grandma Guo who was locked in the kitchen; what a funny sight! HAH! :)

Last, but not least, there is Blaza. Blaza is 11 years old, but mentally, he has the mind of a younger child. He is also autistic. I recognized it pretty quickly. Blaza is an amazing kid! He gets to eat for his meal everyone else's leftovers literally, yet he is always thankful for whatever he is given. He is such a good helper and has many duties here. I taught him on the computer today,and he LOVED it!!! I really enjoyed seeing him be smart and laugh and get so excited. :) I look forward to teaching him more, but I do wish he could just be a little boy too and not have so many chores here.

I would just like to say a little more about Blaza. Blaza is an inspiration to me. He reminds me to be thankful for all that I am given even if it is literally table scraps! Blaza teaches me to not complain and help others. My heart truly loves Blaza, and it seems that both he and this experience is preparing me to be a mama (literally) to disabled children. If my Papa should give me children in the future (after a husband, of course), then I know that I would proudly be their mama and give them too all of my love and Papa's love just as I give it to these kiddos. :)

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By Michael James Craig on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:14:26 GMT
that is so awesome of you to be there for those kids. they sound like a cool bunch of kids. i wish i had an opportunity like that.

Like a Joyful Dream

- July 17-18, 2007 -

I have been riding the train from Shanghai to Beijing for nearly 10 hours. This journey has been so delightful! Papa really provided for me so much so it is as if I'm having a joyful dream. The guy beside me on the train speaks or understands no English, but is extremely kind to me and has spoken to me a bunch. I think he is maybe 20 or 21.

He shared food and a soda with me last night and even let me move to a different seat so I could sleep better. Then, he gave his extra long sleeve shirt to use as a blanket so I wouldn't be cold. I dreamed about him and woke up around 6:30 this morning really thinking it all wasn't real ... but it is real. :) I shared some of my breakfast with him. He is one of the kindest people I've truly ever met especially so in China! He also helps the others around us too. I can tell that he enjoys talking with them. I in fact wish that I could join in their jovial conversation, but I cannot for now though I do understand some of what they say.

Still miles to go before Beijing, but what a joyful ride! I am very excited to make this last leg of my China trip. I am eager to love on these little orphaned and disabled kids. I want to do a wonderful job as their third "Mama;" I will care for them with two other Chinese ladies. It is raining outside now off the train but that does not deter me from enjoying the sights of northern China which looks so different from southern China. Okay I will end here for now.

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By Michael James Craig on Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:17:56 GMT
that is awesome to be able o not understand each other, yet still get past even that. so awesome. :)

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By kat on Wed, 25 Jul 2007 04:24:47 GMT
Amanda,the album doesn't working at all.Could not see your pics =( Make papa be with you in BJ,love u and miss u a looooooooooot

Bye Bye Shanghai

- July 16 & 17, 2007 -

I spent about 27 hours in Shanghai. It was very nice to be with my friend and former student Ivy (Chen Yuanfen) who's become quite the lady, Jack (her boyfriend), and big, muscular Mr. Lin (Jack's brother-in-law). They are all working for their small family owned and operated international trading company. She and the two guys really helped me so much during my stay from driving me around in a luxurious car to booking me a cheap but very nice hotel room to taking me all around Shanghai.

On Tuesday, I spent nearly the whole day walking around Shanghai with Jack and Ivy. Papa provided a train ticket right away to Beijing. None were available in the South for four more days! Then, we walked down Nanjing Road, a famous shopping street for pedestrians, returned to the Shanghai Harbor, rode the metro (subway), visited the old part of Shanghai (SH), toured the SH Science & Technology Museum, and crossed the beautiful Huangpu River.

The museum was really fun for just Ivy and I! My favorite part was the Robot Theatre. I thought of you Michael as this trio of robots worked on a car and then danced; I also thought of you Craig and Cali as other robots fought like samurais and still others danced a distinctly Chinese dance routine. We also walked through an amazing animal display themed like the rain forest. It was all oh so very lovely and perhaps my favorite site in SH.

Shanghai amazes me! It is incredibly modern and almost as Western as Hong Kong. The buildings are tall, incredibly tall, and diverse in architecture. The streets were very clean (something I haven't seen much in China), and the traffic was extremely orderly (also something I don't see much here). It is probably the biggest city I've ever been to. My time there made me think of NYC and being in Hong Kong.

The best part of my time there was that the Chinese people were so friendly to me; even the police smiled and were warm-hearted. If I ever come back to SH, I'd like to go to the art and history museums here; I really appreciate how they appreciate both here and prominently display so much beautiful art. Bye bye Ivy and Shanghai. :)

Brief Return to Shenzhen

- 7.15-16.2007 -

My time in Shenzhen was brief but incredibly blessed! Harriet helped me right away to get a plane ticket to Shanghai. (Papa gave me wisdom and insight beforehand that this was His way to get there.) It was 50% off, and Papa provided Esther, Harriet's friend, to also help me get the ticket. Without Esther's Ctrip card, I couldn't have gotten the ticket. The ticket was personally delivered to Harriet's home a few hours later for FREE, and by the time it was delivered the same online ticket price had risen 210 yuan (Chinese dollars). What a wonderful Papa to save me 210 yuan and provide a plane ticket! It's even more incredible if you consider that Harriet hardly ever sees this friend ... but hmmm, do you believe in Sovereignty? I DO!! :)

I had dinner with Harriet, Esther, and Lisha. It was at a nice Sichuan restaurant. Later, I met Brown with Harriet. He's from Ghana and has been wanting desperately to meet me for several weeks. We made plans to come to his house the next morning before I flew to Shanghai.

Being with Brown was very fun for me! He and I are incredibly laid back folks. He lives very far away from Harriet in a beautiful apartment complex. We had breakfast and talked about Papa and His book. How refreshing to have someone eagerly seeking me out to talk about both! Brown in incredibly positive and kind. He paid for a private taxi to drive us about one hour to the Shenzhen airport. Harriet and I spent a couple of hours there. She really loves me, so I gave her my gifts of time and touch.

... On the plane now headed to Shanghai. Papa has led to read the following: Isaiah 63-65. Several verses really spoke to me - Isaiah 63:7-9, 11-19, and 64:1-12. They made me think of China's need for Jesus. My flight to Shanghai was so peaceful and blessed! :)

My Busy Week in Meizhou - Part II

- July 12-15, 2007 -

Thursday in MZ continued to keep me busy. Erika is feeling better but still sick, so I went out to pick up some donuts and coffee for us. It didn't take me long to go down the street and return to the apartment for the late breakfast with Erika. While talking over brekky, Erika was able to learn about a problem I was having and help me solve the dilemma.

After breakfast, our new friend Winnie came over to hang out and helped me clean the apartment and play interior decorator with me. Then, the three of us went out to an old favorite lunch buffet of Erika's and mine affectionately called "San Kuai." It was good to have a meal there and really good to see the same family cooking there and have them still recognize us! :) I had wondered before going if they would still remember me after four years.

After lunch, we did some errands. I dropped off a skirt and bought a plant for the apartment. Erika visited a dotor at a nearby clinic. I wish you could have been with me next; I know you'd have laughed! :) Right after leaving the clinic with Erika, I saw three water buffalos being escorted down the street. I got so excited about the sight that I simply left Erika and Winnie standing on the street and briskly walked after the water buffalos to capture them on film! LOL!! That is so me to do that!!!

Thursday continued to be fun when a dear friend called us a few minutes later. He asked what we were doing, and Erika replied, "We're standing on the street." Our friend then replied, "For fun???" It was actually quite fun and enjoyable to simply stand on the street then and watch things and continued to be our inside joke for the rest of the day! Hah! :) Erika and I spent a couple of hours after that with Jessica and her boss. We talked about history and politics, both Chinese and American. My personal interests in both and my UWF days came in quite handy for such a conversation. :)

(Wow, I didn't think I'd write this much about one day ... oh well.) The night continued to be enjoyable as my lovely and precious friend Kat finally arrived in Meizhou to meet me. It is ALWAYS so good to be with her! Kat, Jessica, Erika, and I all went to the MZ Square. Jessica bid us farewell after that, so the three of us went back to our apartment. It was good to talk with Kat there. She invited me to go to the internet cafe, so I went with her to blog though very tired. She helped me work out the details of my trip to northern China. We ended the night with a midnight Hakka snack on the street nearby the internet cafe.

Friday started with time with an American family over here. They have kids that Erika desired to teach about Papa. It was good to help them learn and play with them and see my little friend Hopie. What a story she has! :) I am so glad that God has a bigger plan than mankind. I am glad that I got to see her dad and his friend Keith too.

After lunch, I went with Erika, Winnie, Trinity, Zhong, and Zhong's wife (Joy) to have a meaningful "dunking." I have wanted to be dunked for about a year but couldn't think of a meaningful way for it to be done in the US. It was both wonderful and meaningful!!! I had so much joy to be "dunked" as I know my heart has been Papa's in truth for a little over a year now. I have no doubts that He is my King and Lord, and I'm so thankful that this was the time to obey and honor Him. :)

Later that evening, Erika and I visited our old friend Cheryl. She had a little girl about six weeks ago. It was good to viist with her and deepen our friendship. We left, and Erika went with me to try to get some dinner. Normally it would have been no problem to get dinner, but Papa had to close many doors tonight; we went to FOUR restaurants for me to get a kind of rice dish, but NONE had that simple dish, and one actually told me that they had no food! It was Papa's plan though because I had much joy and strength to walk almost an entire street (maybe six long blocks) to the new KFC. It was a very nice walk and time to talk with Papa! This place blew me away because at 10:30 at night it was swamped just as though it was 12 PM; While there I met a current Ying Cai student (Li Ling), and afterwards, I got to take a tricycle (ren li) sanlunche back near my apartment. I had peace in my heart, so I gave him a tract and told him it was a good book in Chinese. Thank you Papa for your plans! :)

Saturday was the day I desired to sleep in seeing as I had been up 'til 2 AM nearly every night here, and then was getting up around 8 AM every day. However, sleeping late did not happen because of a text message I received. The message said that two new girls would arrive, so I got up to clean one very messy bedroom and the rest of the apartment that I hadn't yet gotten to. My morning was busy, but I was able to get the room cleaned and wash a few clothes before my lunch appointment with Kat.

Lunch with Kat was very interesting. She treated me and four others to KFC. Because of the lunch date, I was able to meet new family members - Xiao Gu, Gu's best friend, Xiao Qing, and Liu Xiuning (John). I got to hear some encouraging words while with them. Afterwards, Kat and Xiuning went with me to Xinhua Bookstore to search for a gift for Maggie, my friend who teaches in Danshui. I don't think the three of us wanted to part, but we did. I went back to the apartment to finish cleaning and decorating. I wanted to take a nap, but ran out of time as I needed to pick up my skirt and meet up at a friend's house to go out for dinner.

I really enjoyed dinner with my friends! It was nice to spend one last evening with them before heading back to SZ with Kat. At dinner I got to meet Naomi (here for the summer on an m team) and Jackie (an '03-'05 Ying Cai student). I had heard a little of Jackie's story from my friend Rob in America, and Jackie had gotten my picture in the past from someone; thus, it was very neat for us to meet one another. :) Dinner also let me see Zhong's son and daughter. My how they've grown in four years!

I spent several hours during the rest of the evening with the B. family. Then, I headed out to meet Erika, Kat, and John (Xiuning) for the local specialty (check the food page later for specifics). It was very good to be with them one last time. John asked so many questions, and our chat was very enjoyable! Then, I headed back with Erika to finish packing and to rest.

My last night's rest in MZ was very peaceful. All throughout the night Papa gently spoke to me that today (7/15) was the right day to leave MZ and go to Shenzhen. Thus, I woke up early with SO much joy and peace! My dear friend Zhong drove myself, Kat,and Kat's mama to the train station. That in and of itself was a gift to me, but then, he gave me a card and family picture from his wife. It was a very precious gift from a friend who took me to the train station so he could see me one last time and told me in English that he would miss me. How incredibly sweet!! :)

Kat and I are sitting next to each other on the train while Mama sits close by. As usual, we have talked a lot. ... Tommy met us at the train station and a little later we all met Harriet. And thus ends my time in Meizhou.

Peanut Butter Master (Great Quotes)

"I'm sucking down peanut butter. ... I didn't get peanut butter on the Bible because God didn't want peanut butter on His holy word. ... I'm the Peanut Butter Master."

--- Josiah Bout (7.12.2007)

My Busy Week in Meizhou - Part I

- 7.6-11.2007 -

Time once again to try and recap nearly a whole week in one blog. I will try to keep it brief. I am most definitely still loving Meizhou (MZ), my Chinese hometown.


On Friday, I helped my friend Erika clean up the apartment she's living in. It's not been kept clean, and it also gave me time to talk one-on-one with a good, old friend. Our time was brief because I got sidetracked along the way to her apartment, but it was a good time and enjoyable time later chatting and helping her clean. Then, we headed out to McDonald's - it wasn't here four years ago - and joined other American friends. While there, I got to run into two other old friends, Arnie and Keith. Erika and I stayed a while chatting with them.


Then, things took another wonderful, unexpected turn. I met Fanny. Erika, Josie, and I spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with her. We went to the nice tea shop together, went to her apartment, toured MZ's finest apartment complex (Hong Du) - it was also not her four years ago - and had dinner with Fanny's family. I'm not sure what Papa has in store for her, but I do want to keep in touch. The three of us headed back and off I went to an American family's home for a chat till around midnight. What a good talk for all of us!


Saturday kept me busy in another city I had never visited before. It is called Pingyuan; my friend Kiki is from there and doing fabulous there. We helped promote her English training center (Di En). I got to be one of the two foreigners having lunch at Kiki's home with about nine other Chinese young ladies. It was tiring but fun to be there and get to help out.


The drive back really made me car sick, but nonetheless though exhausted and sick my friend Angie came to pick me up to go to her house for a night. How refreshing to have lots of wind rush across my face on the back of a motorcycle as I rode out of the city and into the Chinese countryside! I rode with Lucy, Angie's friend and co-worker. We had dinner at Angie's home in such an amazing landscape before heading out for karaoke, a visit to Lucy's house, and a delightful motorcycle ride all through MZ. The ride brought back such good memories amidst an amazing starry-filled night, and it really hit home for me that if I can't be satisfied in just Jesus and look to him for all the protection I could ever need, then I'll never be satisfied and be miserably filled with worry rather than simple faith. I truly worshiped Papa on the back of that motorcycle and tasted more deeply and sweetly what faith is all about.


My stay at Angie's home lasted until about 12:30 PM on Sunday. Then, she, I, and Lucy headed to Meizhou. I spent time with fellow Americans and met a Filipino family next. We all gave our songs to Papa and learned more about him together. It was very nice though I had to battle pride and competitiveness within me. What junk within! I left first as I needed to meet Jessica and Jade, a former student who made a special trip to see me. We met at my old school. That gave me time to look at pictures of friends hanging up in the lobby of my old school, Ying Cai (YC). When Jade arrived, we spent about 10 minutes talking with my old boss Jerry Zhong. It was a nice visit!


Then, the visit with Jade, Jessica, and Jade's sister began just down a ways nearby the town square. I am glad that I got to talk more with Jade, a sister, and be with Jessica too. Our visit ended early, and then I met many current YC students on the road nearby the Square. How nice to be back here and meet them. I gave them each John's book.


Monday was busy and interesting too. Erika, I, and two other friends went to visit Wendy Zhang, my former colleague. She has a one-month old daughter now that we also went to see. What a special time to visit Wendy and her daughter Beth! By this time I hadn't been home in two days, and so, I headed back to Jessica's to pack up things to move to Erika's apartment. Before morning though, Erika and I had made plans to climb 100 Years Mountain with Jessica. We arrived at the mountain and climbed up and down roughly 900-1,000 steps to the top and back around sunset. It was nice making it to the top and getting the priceless views of MZ along the way. After the mountain trek adventure, the three of us waited (after a walk), Jessica's friend to come pick us up. He has a cute little car and graciously helped me move my things from Jessica's to Erika's. Before heading to bed, I made one last trek to see Josie and Kaitlin and Marilee; they leave shortly for Pingyuan.


That brings us up to Tuesday. Tuesday morning Erika and I had the pleasure of teaching the Bible to three of our friend's kids. It is good for me to help Erika do this and also lets me get to know J. and A. better. I knew them a little in America, but they were too little to really remember me. A. is really fun to be with because she is a ball of energy - definitely a kinesthetic learner! After our Bible study time, Erika and I got to join their family for lunch - American style. Man it was delicious!

Then, I headed out to be with Erika to practice for a Chinese party (American English for performance among many performances). I really wanted to stay and blog but figured that I should go with her and needed to go with her to build relationships with Chinese people. Thus, I met Candy, Josh, Kevin, and my other Chinese friends. I played guitar with Erika. This is one of the few times I've played guitar in China during this trip; I really miss playing my guitar in America. I really had so much enthusiasm to play guitar! The evening was filled with joining Grandma B. for her birthday dinner and then touring MZ on the local tour trolley with Chinese friends and new American friends from good 'ole Alabama. What a nice time building relationships with Winnie and Vickie.

Drum roll please ..... (da, da, da, da, da) ..... and now today, Wednesday. Today I visited a colony of 21 lepers. They live on the outskirts of MZ and were a joy to be with!!! Jesus was praised so much in Chinese and English at the leper colony. I was reminded of how the Chinese mindset and American mindset are incredibly different along the trip too. I am thinking more and more like a Chinese person! It's good! Then, I got to see a friend from my past (DL). I am thankful that I got to see him and spend time asking for his forgiveness for hard feelings I held against him even until this return trip. They died (the hard feelings) and emotional pain allowing grace and a newness of relationship to begin. Hallelujah! Then, I got to have lunch at my friend Snow's restaurant.

Our lunch talk was very good with my good friend sharing about his family's heartache and new friends sharing about Taiwan. I returned to the apartment afterwards. Erika is so sick today. I saw her only very briefly when the doors slammed due to the wind. I will go and play the guitar and now be the only guitarist. Tonight I'll perform with Chinese friends. ... My time tonight was great playing the guitar; Jesus was praised and helped me so much! Trinity and I had great talks before and after the performance. We talked about SOS and sp matters. I am thankful that she could go with me to McDonald's tonight. I was so craving a cheese burger for about three days now. Since we ate at around 10:30 PM I had about two meals since I was so hungry. And thus, I am back at the apartment, and that was my Wednesday.

Back Home in Meizhou! :)

Just a short, quick note to let you guys know that I made it back to my Chinese hometown on July 4th. I will write more and am in the process of uploading pictures so yall can all see what I've been up to and meet my friends that I've met along the way or returned to see. I am having a terrific time here and hope to blog more soon, but life here is very ACTIVE! This is the first time in over a week that I've actually been able to get online. Please be patient ... more will come in the future. :)

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Comments

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By Sonjia Lou Johnson on Wed, 11 Jul 2007 07:26:06 GMT
Say hello to our mutual friends there. Give a big hug to all the little ones (and the big ones too). Mama

Why I Loathe American Capitalism ...

It is very late now, nearly 2 AM, but I think if I do not write these words down now that I will forget too much about my blessed Thursday. Thursday was really wonderful for me, such a blessing. I got up early this morning and had some breakfast with Mama Deng (Jessica's mom). Then, she gave me a set of keys so that I can come and go freely. She left quickly after that. I spent time looking at all of the beautiful creation Papa made from this building's roof. The view is simply gorgeous here!!! :) I enjoyed worshiping my Papa from the rooftop. I spent time in His word reading Ruth's story. It was good to spend time with my Father this morning.

Next, I made a call to an American friend here which led me a little later out the door and across town. I couldn't catch a taxi, so I headed by sanlunche (a little two-person box pulled by a motorcycle) across town to meet my friends. I prayed and asked for my Father's help. He led me to a drop-off spot nearby my friend's house despite the sanlunche driver not knowing the way to exactly where I told him. In any case, my dear Papa heard my requests and provided for me. Within minutes, old friends met me on the street, and we headed for their apartment. It was so good to see them and meet new friends and other old friends. :)

I talked so much. My brain was really bouncing everywhere like a raquetball let loose hard in a small raquetball court. I shared so much, and the friends enjoyed hearing the stories and seeing some of my now nearly 500 pictures. I headed out with many of these friends to eat lunch. It was nice to eat with them. :) Immediately following lunch, Erika (an old friend from Louisiana) and I headed to Shejiang, about 30-45 minutes by car away from Meizhou.

Shejiang is a suburb of MZ and is essentially an industrial town with many factories. It was good to see my old friends and students Angie, Jade, Nancy, Anna, Kelly, Sara, and Susan. We toured their three factories extensively. While it was really delightful to see them, visiting their factories was extremely sad for me; it was so hard to keep back my tears so as to not sadden and confuse my friends.

What made me so sad? Let me tell you. At Angie's factory students age 10 to 18 work eight hours a day for only 15 yuan. That is all they are paid for a whole day! (That is a very little amount of money over here in China.) She told me that without their labor during these students' summer holiday that the factory cannot keep up with the orders from abroad. Her factory makes products sold in Bath & Body Works and Hobby Lobby. These American companies buy them at extremely low prices and make SO much profit. It is heartbreaking!! I despise American capitalism and frugality because I have seen and heard first-hand from living in China how it comes at the DEAR price of deplorable working and living conditions for the Chinese people I love so much!! I know that the products I saw today will be on the market in America and elsewhere in the world especially in December, and it can only make my stomach churn with disgust.

Erika and I cut our visit short because Mama Deng was making a special dinner for me. I didn't ask for this, but Mama is such a kind and gracious mama. Thus, I knew we needed to be back for the dinner. It was truly WONDERFUL! Mama cooked well tonight! After and during dinner Jessica, Erika, and I had a long, mostly serious talk. It was intense and reminded me of an overwhelming conversation I had years back with American friends shortly after the war began in Iraq. After that we headed out for a little shopping and a walk to the local university so I could learn the way; it is a helpful meeting spot for me while here. :)

A friend came to pick us up in his cute little car, and we headed off to take Erika home. Then, the friend driving asked if I'd like to go get coffee. I enthusiastically said "yes." Off we headed again to go down by the lovely (at night time) river to go to the coffee shop. It was super nice there, and I enjoyed delightful Italian coffee. We headed home but then stopped for Hakka soup on the way back. The driver and Jessica's friend were hungry. This little alley was hopping with people and food at nearly midnight. Jessica said that they sell food until 2 or 3 AM. WOW!! For me, all this powerfully showed me how much the driver simply wanted to be my dear friend. He did things the Chinese way and paid lots of money for lots of food and a gift for me and Jessica. I was already blessed so much today that I was in awe of how much my Father had showered me with graciousness and bountiful gifts. I truly don't deserve any of this, but He continues to tremendously bless me.

Well now, it's 2:19 AM. I will head to bed to rest up. I am spending the day with Erika and helping her clean in just a few hours. You all have a fabulous day! :)

What I Read Today

- 5.July.2007 -

Him (Jesus) we preach, warning every man and teaching every man in all wisdom, that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus. To this end I also labor, striving according to His working which works in me mightily.

~ Colossians 1.28-29 ~

On the Road Again

(11:46 AM)

Currently I am riding on the train to Meizhou. It is a slow, comfortable ride through the Chinese countryside. This time my camera is charged, but it is slow. That means that the best views are uncapturable because they pass by too quickly or get blocked by something outside. This train ride is very pleasant for me :) and bring back good memories. I first arrived in Meizhou (MZ) six years ago by train. I am thinking of the many hiking adventures I had with friends in MZ in the past. I am seeing such beautiful clouds and lush green mountains in quaint Chinese towns/villages, and those things make me think of friends.

Seeing these mountains also makes me think of another adventure I had. In the summer of 1999, I spent two months in a tiny town almost in Utah because it was so far west in Colorado. That little town (Mesa) had a main street that was literally one block long; most of the folks that lived in that little town lived up the mountain's spiraling road, but all together probably less than 100 people lived there. I thought of Mesa while on this journey because my home for the summer was at the top of the mountain from which I saw for the very first time a cloud's shadow upon a mountain. I saw another cloud's shadow upon a mountain today. :)

At the moment the train is stopped in Long Chuan. It is near MZ. I think about 35 people just got onto this train's car though there are no seats for them. They often oversell the bus in China, but this is the first time I have seen them oversell (badly oversell) the train. I am extremely thankful for my seat and glad that I did not take the evening train or bus to MZ. Actualy, I have been thankful for many things and people on this journey to my Chinese hometown. I don't know how I'm going to get off the train with my three bags soon, but Papa had given me peace that it will be okay and that he'll help me off. :) Praise my wonderful Papa.

(3:38 PM)

I have arrived safely in my lovely Chinese hometown. I got here at 2:25 PM to be exact and am loving it! My hometown in beautiful! The mountains are here and so lovely, the traffic is not mad or busy, and the taxis start at 4 RMB (my cheapest taxi yet ... OH YEAH). As you can probaly tell, I am very excited to be back here! I write this in my former student Jessica's home which is very tidy and no longer Lilliput! :) I am glad to be here and finished a quick lunch a few minutes ago. Pretty tired now since I woke up at 4:45 and then 5:30 this morning to leave by 6:30 from Jess' Guangzhou apartment. Papa had really blessed this journey all the way ... and getting off the train was no problem. :) Papa, my Papa, is always faithful and true to His word. Peace for now. :)

(10:50 PM)

The word that came to mind as I rode in the taxi here was "refreshing." Truly I am refreshed now. I am very comfortable here, have contacted Chinese friends to let them know that I am safe here, and am planning to meet my old friend Erika some time tomorrow. Both of us came to Meizhou for part of our summer.

Last night I spent time with my friends in GZ at a mall, then over dinner, and finally worshiping Jesus. He is amazing and awesome! He let me play a song that was pretty difficult in the past pretty easily on guitar last night; I know it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with Him just blessing my friends with tthe gift of a song. It was so good to worship with them and hear them sing on their own a little later. It made me smile and so thankful for how wonderful my Papa is. I love calling him Papa because he really is my Abba, Daddy, and Father! :) So happy to be here Papa!!!

Old Turtle

* June 23 – July 2, 2007 *

The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

– James 5:16

What a hoot if you guys in America could have seen me when I was traveling from Shenzhen to Guangzhou. I was already tired physically, and the journey was not easy. I left SZ later than I really wanted which also meant having lunch later too. Oh, I think I’d be complaining if I told you about the journey down the street to lunch, so I’ll just say it was exhausting and painful and that was hours before I was to catch a bus with Harriet to GZ. At one point sort of near the bus station I asked Harriet to take my picture. I told her that I felt like an old turtle. I looked like one too. :) My brother-in-law (Craig) gave me this super nice hiking backpack before I left the US, but it was loaded down with mostly gifts for folks here, and I had been carrying it on my back for several hours by the time we reached this bus station. I felt like I was just about to die and could only barely trudge along to make it to the station and sing a silly song to try and make things not so miserable for me. I’ll gladly show you my “old turtle” picture if you care to see it.

Well, this old turtle continued on the journey with Harriet and a nearly dead cell phone. The bus ride was wonderful!!!! I so needed to just sit and rest in A/C and could do so on such a bus ride. Papa worked out all of the details (as I knew he would) for things once I got here, and well, it’s been much slower than SZ but very amazing being here in GZ. I thought that I’d be in Meizhou by now, but Papa has his own timing for things. So … how do I, the wordy writer, recap more than a week into a short blog??? I will try. :)

First, there’s time with Tedsy. Tedsy is my dear friend that I met in 2001 when I first came to China on a summer language and culture exchange team. He was my closest Chinese friend then, and now he’s married and has a three-year old daughter. He is such the business man!!! I got to have a long talk with him over dinner the first night here, and this past Saturday I again had dinner with him and his wife Coco, daughter Rachel, her nanny, Jess (Tedsy’s cousin), and another dear friend. It was very nice to eat with them and then visit his wonderful apartment.

Then, there are the girls … Jess, Gina, Anna, and Sanobar. I have been staying in their apartment since the second day in GZ. I know that I am short in America, but here I am like Gulliver in Lilliput. I am really not built for their apartment, and the other day I broke by accident one of their stools from sitting on it while washing a week’s worth of clothes. All but Sanobar are my sisters. It has been super to be with them and sing with them and go out with Jess a bunch. She and I have talked the most. The seeds I plant in her I know will be planted in the other girls (in their young twenties). I never would have picked living here, but I’m so thankful that Papa has his own way of doing things and that it is always perfect! It has been a joy to be here despite the extremely loud noises from just outside.

Third, there is the amazing story of how my Papa let a precious (to put it lightly) brother of mine be found after years of no contact with him. No one could find him though they tried! He never stopped being a part of my heart, and I missed him terribly! I will have to keep him nameless in my blog, but man, how good it is to find him!!!! It is only Papa that can do things like that!!!! We found each other with the help of others on Thursday morning and spent the next three days together. What joyful and delightful days for both of us!!! Honestly, I thought my brother was dead because he lives for the King so strongly in a country where that pretty much only gets you killed … and so for about two years now that is what I thought happened. I am so thankful and glad to be proved wrong!!! We will both miss each other so terribly when I depart from here, but we plan on staying in contact via email and chat programs. I know already that we both miss each other and have been deeply saddened that we cannot spend more time together with one another because of his new job.

Lastly, there’s Estella. What joy I saw in her when I met her too in 2001. That joy has been stolen or abandoned because of Islam. She has been married to a Muslim for year now, and though not a Muslim yet, she is all but there. She still claims to be in the family … but I can tell you honestly that her heart is turning more and more away from Papa and is extremely cold and hard now. I spent two nights and two full days with her in her apartment while her husband was away on business. It was so rough for me living there and so disheartening. I wanted to share so much with her, but she was not open at all to pretty much anything I had to say. I told her at one point that I did not want to argue with her or hurt her with my words and that I knew that the things she was telling me she believed were true, but that simply put, they were not true. And so, I tuned her guitar and used her computer to worship my King, the only King, and that was pretty much the only joy I had being with her. After those two days, I had to return back to Jess’ apartment or else I would have argued with her and not shown her Papa’s love. Others confirm what I am seeing in Estella as well. Please pray for her … that her King will be her desire again and that she will see growth from him. There are so many Muslims in China and so many of them live here in GZ. I knew that before, but I had never seen it until this week. It is very sad to see, but hey, Papa can change things right? :) Please keep the Muslims here lifted up.

Today things actually changed between Estella and I. I went across the street to her apartment to ask for help, and her husband was home. We had lunch together and tonight are planning to go to an Indian restaurant. Her husband is from Bombay, India. It was really joyful for me to meet him and talk with him and spend time with Estella again. I had love for her and him … and that is VERY good! Well, it’s almost dinner time with them, so I’ll stop here. On to Meizhou (pronounced “May-Joe”) soon, perhaps I’ll go on Wednesday or Thursday and possibly even with an old American friend who’s returning to China for most of the month of July. It’s very rad, but details need to be worked out still as plans to head there greatly changed earlier in the week!

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Comments

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By Sonjia Lou Johnson on Tue, 03 Jul 2007 07:25:57 GMT
Mama here. Glad that you are well. Be safe and know that you are loved. You are right, Papa is in the business of change. Love you.