What do you do when you are lonely?

Current mood: lonely

Hey all. I'm truly feeling lonely now ... and so I got to thinking on my walk moments ago, why not ask what others do when they are lonely. So, what do you do when you are lonely that helps pick you up? Just wondering AND yeah a bit curious as to if your advice can pick me up now.

What’s been running through my head lately ...

Current mood: awake

I would have to say that emotionally this has been one of my distressing weeks. I won't go into why. What I will say is that through it all, like one word kept coming to mind. What is that ONE word you ask? LOVE.

This week God kept drawing me to him and quietly whispering to my spirit to love others and love him regardless of how I felt, what I understood, or what my will wanted to do. I have to honestly say that it has been difficult for me to do that this week, but I can also honestly say that I tried to give it my best shot even when I felt clueless as to how to "love" others in the moment. You see, real love looks like many different things, and God's path is not a cookie cutter route. So, I've had to go before him and just cry out in transparency for His godly wisdom.

Today especially, it has been difficult. I kept hearing this verse - 1 John 4:19. We love him because he first loved us. I kept reading on earlier this morning and verse 21 hit me too. And this commandment we have from him, that he who loves God loves his brother also. And then, later this morning I heard a story that really moved me. It too was about God's love. The story goes as follows ...

A young boy had a mother who was badly marred. Her face was badly mangled and her arm terribly scarred. Because of these injuries, her little boy was terribly ashamed of his mother. Although he had friends, he would do his best to not have them over to his house, and if they did happen to visit, he would try and keep them from seeing his mom.

As time went by, the boy grew up, but the shame he felt for his mother never left him. One day, a man who had finally had enough of the boy's atrocious behavior, sat the boy down to talk with him. The man, charged with emotion, asked the boy if he knew why his mother was so badly scarred. The boy had no idea, and so the man told him. "Young man," the man said, "your mother looks that way because one day long ago there was a fire. A house was on fire, and your mother rushed inside. She risked her all to save a life that was within that burning house. That life, young man, was you. Your mother is so badly scarred and burnt so that you could live."

After hearing the older man speak, the young man realized that his actions were wrong. The shame he had held for his mother turned into pride after hearing the man's story as he realized that his mother's scars had in fact saved his life and were out of love.

For me when it comes to love, I've also been thinking about how much I want to love and please God. I really hate to see sin both in myself and others. I don't want to get distracted by the world or stuff and simply put forget to make loving God my first priority. Sadly, it can really be easy to do that. And so, I leave you with a few more verses that encourage me in the right direction ...

Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude] ~ Romans 12.2

If you have heard Christ and been taught be him, as the truth is in Jesus, then put off the old man, which is corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind. Put on the new man which after God is created in righteousness and true holiness. ~ Ephesians 4:21-24

If then you have been raised with Christ, aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth. ~ Colossians 3.1-2

Want to read about my time in China?

Current mood: chill

For those of you who don't know yet, I spent the summer in China and Japan. Prior to leaving I had just started a blog on another site. Since returning last August, life has been INCREDIBLY fast-paced which means I still haven't finished adding my summer journal entries to the other blog. Today I added another entry that's also one of the longest and I think most unusual! Happy reading at www.belovedbyabba.sampasite.com. :)

Movie Quotes that Spoke To Me

Current mood: chill

From Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium --

"I don't know why grownups don't believe what they did they were a kid? Aren't they supposed to be smarter?"

"We breathe. We pulse. We regenerate."

"When you look at my face do you see a sparkle? Like something reflective of something bigger trying to get out?"

"Your life is an occasion. Write it full."

From Braveheart --

"Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it."

"I love you. Always have. I want to marry you."

"I will love you my whole life, you and no other. And I you, you and no other.

"This Wallace, he doesn't even have a knighthood, but he fights with passion and he inspires."

"Uncompromising men are easy to admire. He has courage."

"I am William Wallace, and I see a whole army of my countrymen here in defiance of tyranny. You've come to fight as free men. And free men you are. What will you do with that freedom? Will you fight? Fight and you may die. Would you be willing to trade all the days for this day to that (your dying day) for one chance --- just one chance --- to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom?"

"Alga gu bra" (Gaelic)

"I think your position exists to provide those people with freedom, and I go to make sure that they have it."

"Men don't follow titles. They follow courage."

"Lands, titles, men, power --- nothing. Nothing? I have nothing. ... I will never be on the wrong side again."

"Every man dies. Not every man really lives. Give me the strength to die well."

From Mr. Deeds Goes to Town --

"What puzzles me is people seem to get so much pleasure out of, out of hurting each other. Why don't they try liking each other once in a while?"

From Moses (starring Ben Kingsley) --

"Remember this night on which you came out of Egypt. Out of the house of slavery. Because the Lord brought you out with the strength of his hand. Go forth oh Israel, go forth."

"We take the route the Lord ordains."

"The Lord has shown us the way. If we follow it, he will deliver us."

From Transformers --

"Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive and violent race. Were we so different? They're a young species. They have much to learn. But I've seen goodness in them. We cannot let the humans pay for our mistakes."

"I have witnessed their capacity for courage. And though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye."

From Evan Almighty --

"You want to change the world. So do I. Whatever I do, I do because I love you."

"How do you change the world? One random act of kindness at a time."

From The Lord of the Rings:The Fellowship of the Ring --

"Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines, it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you ... that meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories ... had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something.

What are we holding on to, Sam?

That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it's worth fighting for."

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not."

Reflection on LOVE

For about two weeks now, I have been reflecting on the past year’s greatest change within myself. It was this time about a year ago that I started having internal, emotional conflicts with a very dear friend. I reached out to another friend for help and an unbiased perspective. How grateful I am now for that conflict and for my two very dear friends!

What began then and continued this past weekend was the awaking of a deeper love for others within me. I had a love for others a year ago, but along the way it got tainted with self and had come to harm a lot of people along the way. My heart’s desire was for people to abandon themselves to the ways of God and to reflect his likeness in ALL of their being. I wasn’t seeing that ... and so I was trying to encourage them to be like Abba. What mostly resulted though was increased anger and resentment at me. I don’t know if this will be understandable or not, but for me, my motivation was that I truly wanted people to be like Jesus and knew how much it pained me when I saw them sinning and in turn hurting my beloved Jesus.

Well, I was really convicted when my friend lovingly and with seeming pain in his eyes gently delivered the shattering blow. For me, he did really shatter my world at that moment, but my world needed to be shattered and remade. What he told me was that it hurt him to see me hurting others. He knew that I was trying to love them, but that my efforts were actually hurting them. I knew he was right, but for a bit, I tried to actually run from facing those words. Funny thing is, he was not the first to tell me so, but he was the precious one Abba used to change me.

I can honestly say that after that conversation, my ability to love and understand love grew. It blossomed in ways that I could never have dreamed of. It helped me experience things this summer that I am confident that I would have previously turned my nose up at. Abba, my dear Love, was even more gracious in bringing in new friends that were so different from my past. I too would never have sought out relationships with them in the past if not for the new seed of love working its way deeply into my heart. I am very grateful for these relationships and this new understanding of love as I will need it especially for what God is preparing and calling me to next in life.

Well, this past weekend I had a delighful opportunity to be a part of a retreat called Tres Dias. It is intense in lots of good ways and helped me to see even more of my true self and be convicted to go even deeper on this journey to love others with the love of Christ. He is helping me to love with joy and sacrifice. He is reminding of what is truly important in life and letting me pour my all into those people or things. He is my constant, steadfast Lover even when I fail. My heart is deeply set upon going even further in this journey and seeing those seeds of love grow into mighty trees.