I realize that my last email update was long, but I also realized last night that I forgot to include three key things. Add this to the end and consider my last email cut off at the end.
First thing, these last two emails will more than likely be the last of my big email updates that you'll receive until I get back to the States. If I get to write about this month before I leave, that will be great, but I will probably write about the last month when I get back to America. Know that me coming back will be a time of major transistion, so please be patient as you wait to hear how things wrap up here.
Second thing, know that your yarping has been very effective this past month! Like I said in the big email, lots of min opportunities have come into my life the past month. Not only that, but I have seen major sp growth here. This is especially true of two girls! Prz Papa for that growth and His changes in their lives! Keep on yarping for both the work, more adoptions, and deeper growth in Jah.
Third, I am scheduled to fly back to America on May 29. I was scheduled to leave Meizhou on May 26 with some friends, but now, they are not coming because of SARS. Right now, I don't know when I'll be leaving here exactly, but I am definitely planning to be on those flights on May 29. I'll have four flights: Hong Kong to Japan, Tokyo to America, Seattle to Memphis, Memphis to Pensacola. Yarp that I arrive safely back and have the wisdom to know what to pack and what to leave as I prepare to come home.
To my friends in Japan -- If possible I'd like to see yall. I know it's been almost three years since we saw each other last. I don't know what the airport rules are in Japan, so I don't know if you made it to the airport if you'd be able to see me. In any case, I am scheduled to arrive in Tokyo (Narita airport) on Northwest Airlines flight NW 0018 at 1:45 pm. My plane for the USA (NW 0008) will depart at 3:20 pm. If we miss each other, that's okay; I just wanted to try and see yall again.
To my friends in Pensacola -- My parents have told me that they are planning to come and pick me up when I arrive. We are planning to meet at the baggage claim area because of new airport security regulations. My flight is scheduled to arrive (from Memphis) at 6:23 pm. It is flight number NW 5780. My family told me that after they get all of my luggage in the car that we will go eat somewhere. (Don't know where yet.) I really would like to see yall again. I know that when I first come back to the States that I need to spend time with my family, but after that I'd really like to make a trip over to see yall again. It's been a long time, and I have really missed yall and our fellowship!
Well, that definitely wraps up this month. Look forward to seeing yall all again! Lots of work here yet to do though.
Seeking Him,
Amanda =)
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
Monday, April 21, 2003
On an emotional roller coaster headed towards the land of giants: Month 9 Update
To all my friends and family,
Good to send yall another update. I'll jump right in and share about what all has happened on this side of the world. For starters, this past month has by far has been the most emotional. In part that is because, as you all know by now, I will soon be headed home. At the same time, I've been able to min more this past month than in any other month. Like I said in my brief email about me coming home, I still have mixed feelings about my return, but Daddy is showing me more and more that my time here has been very worthwhile. At this point, I truly don't think I'd have realized that had Papa not dramatically changed (in my eyes) what I thought was the timeline for my time here. To put it even more directly, Jah speeding up things has brought more m work my way than I believe would have otherwise come any other way!
Let me back up to things to things here being emotional for a moment. On March 22, I had a talk with a very important person here. Our talk didn't go so well, and in the end, it was then that I learned of my soon-to-be departure. I was crushed at the time in part because Dad had shown me that I needed His cleansing just prior to that talk. I walked back to my apartment and cried alone for the next hour. My only feelings were that I didn't want to go home and that I was a failure. After all my crying, my best friend here called me. She was very upset too. At the time, I couldn't tell her that I was upset because I would be leaving for America. (My school didn't know yet, and I had to wait until the important person talked with the school.) She was upset because she was struggling with what to do about a dating relationship and the involved feelings of that relationship. (Even now, she is still dealing with those things.) Later, the guy involved (who is a brother and friend Jah wants in my life) started calling me regularly. For quite a while I was stuck in the middle trying to comfort them and point them to Jah and His wisdom. So, my relationships with them became strained and emotionally draining. Over the past month, things between them have been up and down; they still need much direction from Papa. At this point, the feelings continue but the relationship has been dramatically changed to the point that it has spilled over into their meetings with the brothers and sisters. Emotionally, I think both are doing better, but I still understand that it is very difficult for both of them.
During this past month and around the same time as both of those friends were having problems, a former student ("J") came back into my life. J for a long time has had a series of disappointments. He was an excellent student at my school in the past, but the whole time he was a student here, he had problems with other students to the point that basically he was totally unliked. I don't understand much about all that, but I know it to be true. Anyways, in the past J has left the school to pursue various jobs, but for one reason or another, he has been fired from every single one! Now, honestly J is someone that I've tried to care for in the past, but he's also someone that annoys me quickly. Thus, after a short time I really wouldn't want to be around him, but I tried to bear with him and be Jah-like. J trusts me and has turned to me in the past to comfort and help him which has given me many opportunities to share with him. He's so stubborn and prideful (in part because of culture) though, so he still isn't our bro.
Anyways, like I said J came back into my life. He was disappointed as usual but this was more serious. Back in February, he was all set to take a job in Australia (a dream of his). But then, at the last moment, his granddad told him that he couldn't go and that he needed to stay home to take care of both him and his grandma. His grandpa called the company and very quickly, the company called J to tell him that he wasn't needed for the Australian job any longer. Needless to say, J was crushed; thoughts of this were on his mind when he came to visit me. Now, I don't know much about suicide, but I could tell that he was showing signs of wanting to commit suicide. J left late that night, but the next night he returned. On the next night, my two friends mentioned above came to my house. Even though, J likes them very much, his mood was about the same the second night. Just before they arrived, J asked to use my bathroom. (We had been talking for probably an hour just the two of us.) Then, my friends came and I sat down to talk with them. After probably ten to fifteen minutes, I realized that J still wasn't out of the bathroom. This seemed strange to me especially as I didn't hear any noises coming from my bathroom. (I thought I had heard him leave my bathroom as I got up to let my friends come in, but when he didn't return I thought I was mistaken.) Then, my sp was quickened by the HS as He came upon me and I knew I needed to find J right away. The HS told me "Find J now! He's going to commit suicide.) So, I quickly got up (my two friends not knowing why) and started trying to find him in my house. I found him outside on one of my balconies. He was standing awkwardly on a stool and leaning over the edge. My apartment is on the seventh floor mind you!
Well after that, one of my two friends came out and insisted with me that J come inside and sit down. As soon as J was headed inside, I ran away from my friends and into my kitchen. My emotions were way too high at that moment. Having someone --- even if just a semi-close friend --- try to commit suicide in my house deeply disturbed me! However, it was even more disturbing because it also brought back memories of another friend and his attempt to commit suicide. At that point, I simply lost it emotionally and started weeping bitterly. I tried to not let the others hear me, but my best friend heard me and came into the kitchen to comfort me. She still had no idea of what had just happened. I told her about what had just been revealed to me and about my friend's attempted suicide. All I could do for quite a while was litterly just sob on her shoulder. Finally though, Jah calmed me and I went back to talk with J more.
As it turns out, that week J kept coming into my life. He was super desperate for kindness and help. He explained to me that week how he had come back looking for a job, but couldn't find one. If he stayed at home, he wouldn't be able to get a job, so he had to return to Meizhou. But, he'd returned with little money, no home, not many friends, and a strong sense of hopelessness. Even though I knew that J had always only used me in the past, I was shown quickly that this was a Jah-appointed opportunity to provide for him in many ways (love, money, housing, comfort, listening ears, food). Thus, that week became an incredible time for sharing about Jah and His love. Later, Jah did provide J with a job and a home and lots of encouragement too. (The job and home wer short-lived though, but now J has yet another job and home. His new job is really terrible though, and he still doesn't have much money. To make matters worse, his job won't pay him until June that is if he continues working for them until June!)
Now, let me fast forward a little to April. As far as teaching goes, that has gotten much better. I continue to have many opportunities to share and teach. (I still really love that part of being here!) Thank you all for your prs about more opportunities (in the pr part from last month)! Daddy has heard yall's prs and answered them. In fact, right after I learned that I was headed home many people that I've been sharing with called me to ask for more teaching times. As of last week, my school and my students learned of my departure. The reaction was both personally overwhelming and surprising! For me, it was a real eye opener from Jah to see that my time here has not been a failure and that I have been more effective than I thought. I also learned just how many students love me. (It's many more than I thought.) More or less, everyone here is sad about me leaving next month, and they keep asking me to stay in China for a much longer time. It has been hard for me to not get emotional when I answer their questions as to why I'm leaving, why I can't stay, and what I'll be doing when I go back to America.
I think I'll probably forget this next part by next month, so I'll share it with yall now. This past weekend was Easter, and in my opinion, it was the best Easter I've ever had! The holiday had so much more meaning this year as it became not only an opportunity to celebrate Jah and His life but also a time to share with lots of people who've never heard before. Back in February, my classes all switched meaning that I got a completely new group of students. I was excited as it meant I'd be adding another field to my garden to nurture. Last term I had a big Thanksgiving party for my students intended both to celebrate the real meaning and teach in a hands-on and memerable way. It wasn't until last Tuesday I think that I decided to do likewise with this holiday. (My Thanksgiving party still makes me laugh!) So, I invited all the Grade 1 students to my house. 102 people told me they'd be coming, but I didn't expect that to pan out; I was right, but still ended up having 80 students at my house! That's no exaggeration!!! I really had 80 students crammed into my house on one of the hottest days ever here!
The day before the party I bought 100 eggs (and drinks) some of which were boiled that night and others the day of the party. (A friend left me with some egg coloring kits a while back which is what sparked the whole party idea.) (The drinks by the way were consumed in like 10 minutes! Thanksgiving all over again!) I explained how to color the eggs after which some students crowded around my table to do exactly that. (For those who don't know, there's really no such thing as "standing in line" or "waiting patiently for your turn" in China; it's not even "first come, first serve" but rather a "push and shove to the front of the line to get any service" way of life here.) While students waited to color their own egg (a first for everyone), I explained the meanings of Easter. About two hours later, we all headed to the local park although by this time with maybe only 30-40 students and their eggs. It was Easter egg hunting time!
Now, somewhat to my surprise the other foreign teacher had come to my party that morning. She quickly included herself and was a big help entertaining students along with me. So, she and I headed to the park with a basket each full of eggs having previously sent the students on a long walk to give us time to hide eggs. As we walked the thought occurred to me, "Hey, these people are gonna think we are absolutely insane as we go walking through this park chunking perfectly good eggs out of our baskets (which had previously been used in a Buddhist funeral ceremony) and not only that but hiding them of all things!" I could only laugh, but my co-worker commented that maybe some of the bystanders would go and start finding the eggs before the students could get to them. As it turns out, she was absolutely right! That only added to making the Easter egg hunt totally hilarious!
So, we both start hiding all these eggs and all these people start giving us these weirded out looks. Then, lots of kids started following us and the students showed up early. They descended on the park/square like a pack of wild dogs racing frantically everywhere in search of hidden eggs. Because they had shown up early, my co-worker and I still had a good amount in our baskets. I was determined to still try to hide those remaining in secret. That plan was quickly foiled which only added to the fun and laughter. In the end, I just started walking around casually dropping eggs to the ground. Kids and students continued following me trying to edge each other out for a colored egg. It was so hilarious to watch! My favorite moment hands down has got to be the time I did that and one of the gardeners cutting bushes at the park simply walked back and picked up the egg I had just dropped (beating the students to it by far) and then proceeded to eat it right away! All I could do for the next several minutes was laugh hysterically! That morning from start to finish was such a barrel of laughs!!!
The next day was actually Easter. That day friends had made plans for a special luncheon for celebrating and sharing. The whole weekend from Good Friday to Easter I had been feeling more chipper than average, but Easter day was the pinnacle of these feelings. I was so super excited to go to that luncheon and bring six students. I'd shared with them previously, so I thought they'd be somewhat comfortable. Honestly, they were all uncomfortable but had a good time. Afterwards on the bus ride back was when I got to see more fruit from that morning and Saturday's party. Two students especially expressed strong interest in wanting to know more about Jah. One now has a Good Book. Although I had yarped that all of my students would become adopted that day, none were. However, my prs for them to understand were answered as a translator at the luncheon was provided; if he hadn't been provided at least two students wouldn't have understood anything. How wonderful for Papa to provide a translator!
Well, that wraps things up for what's been happening on this side of the world. As always, onto the most important part --- requests:
(1) Direction --- This is by far my biggest personal need now. I don't have a clue of what to do when I go home. I need to listen to Papa, let him guide me, and obey. First though, I need His direction. Lots of would-be, could-be plans but no light to show me the right path before my feet.
(2) Solace for people here --- More people want me to stay rather than go here. But, to do so would mean disobedience. Friends and students are really shaken by the news that within almost a month I'll be gone. I know my current students especially aren't anxious to meet their new teacher. In short, people just need Jah's comforting now.
(3) Protection from SARS --- I'm not afraid of catching it, but it is a reality here and in Hong Kong (where I'll be flying out of). Ask that Daddy keeps me healthy. Definitely don't wanna be quarantined upon my return back to the States. If so, I'll miss my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary; it's important to me to be there.
(4) Finishing strong --- Wimping out is not what I came here to do. Gotta keep my priorities staight and work here diligently while I'm still here. I do have to pack, but thinking about home and making preparations should not be priority numero uno. Definitely wanting more work while I'm still here.
(5) Continued healing --- A car hit me while I was riding my bike at the beginning of March. I was not seriously injured but definitely injured. The bruises to my legs and arms are gone, but the pain in my left arm is still there. The muscle is deeply bruised inside and some arteries were damaged causing some blood clots. I was told that it would take 6-8 weeks to fully heal, so it should all go away by the time I'm home, but please ask Jah to heal it more and more.
(6) "J" --- He called me this week and isn't doing well. His job is making him feel more and more hopeless. He's too prideful to ask many people for help and he refuses to go home. I truly think all of this is to bring him to the point of brokenness so that he'll desire Dad's free adoption. He's on a rocky road though until then. He know of Dad and how to be adopted but more or less has always tried to straddle the fence and call himself adopted while not wanting to embrace full adoption. Plead for full adoption on his behalf and for continued provision for basic needs also.
Good to send yall another update. I'll jump right in and share about what all has happened on this side of the world. For starters, this past month has by far has been the most emotional. In part that is because, as you all know by now, I will soon be headed home. At the same time, I've been able to min more this past month than in any other month. Like I said in my brief email about me coming home, I still have mixed feelings about my return, but Daddy is showing me more and more that my time here has been very worthwhile. At this point, I truly don't think I'd have realized that had Papa not dramatically changed (in my eyes) what I thought was the timeline for my time here. To put it even more directly, Jah speeding up things has brought more m work my way than I believe would have otherwise come any other way!
Let me back up to things to things here being emotional for a moment. On March 22, I had a talk with a very important person here. Our talk didn't go so well, and in the end, it was then that I learned of my soon-to-be departure. I was crushed at the time in part because Dad had shown me that I needed His cleansing just prior to that talk. I walked back to my apartment and cried alone for the next hour. My only feelings were that I didn't want to go home and that I was a failure. After all my crying, my best friend here called me. She was very upset too. At the time, I couldn't tell her that I was upset because I would be leaving for America. (My school didn't know yet, and I had to wait until the important person talked with the school.) She was upset because she was struggling with what to do about a dating relationship and the involved feelings of that relationship. (Even now, she is still dealing with those things.) Later, the guy involved (who is a brother and friend Jah wants in my life) started calling me regularly. For quite a while I was stuck in the middle trying to comfort them and point them to Jah and His wisdom. So, my relationships with them became strained and emotionally draining. Over the past month, things between them have been up and down; they still need much direction from Papa. At this point, the feelings continue but the relationship has been dramatically changed to the point that it has spilled over into their meetings with the brothers and sisters. Emotionally, I think both are doing better, but I still understand that it is very difficult for both of them.
During this past month and around the same time as both of those friends were having problems, a former student ("J") came back into my life. J for a long time has had a series of disappointments. He was an excellent student at my school in the past, but the whole time he was a student here, he had problems with other students to the point that basically he was totally unliked. I don't understand much about all that, but I know it to be true. Anyways, in the past J has left the school to pursue various jobs, but for one reason or another, he has been fired from every single one! Now, honestly J is someone that I've tried to care for in the past, but he's also someone that annoys me quickly. Thus, after a short time I really wouldn't want to be around him, but I tried to bear with him and be Jah-like. J trusts me and has turned to me in the past to comfort and help him which has given me many opportunities to share with him. He's so stubborn and prideful (in part because of culture) though, so he still isn't our bro.
Anyways, like I said J came back into my life. He was disappointed as usual but this was more serious. Back in February, he was all set to take a job in Australia (a dream of his). But then, at the last moment, his granddad told him that he couldn't go and that he needed to stay home to take care of both him and his grandma. His grandpa called the company and very quickly, the company called J to tell him that he wasn't needed for the Australian job any longer. Needless to say, J was crushed; thoughts of this were on his mind when he came to visit me. Now, I don't know much about suicide, but I could tell that he was showing signs of wanting to commit suicide. J left late that night, but the next night he returned. On the next night, my two friends mentioned above came to my house. Even though, J likes them very much, his mood was about the same the second night. Just before they arrived, J asked to use my bathroom. (We had been talking for probably an hour just the two of us.) Then, my friends came and I sat down to talk with them. After probably ten to fifteen minutes, I realized that J still wasn't out of the bathroom. This seemed strange to me especially as I didn't hear any noises coming from my bathroom. (I thought I had heard him leave my bathroom as I got up to let my friends come in, but when he didn't return I thought I was mistaken.) Then, my sp was quickened by the HS as He came upon me and I knew I needed to find J right away. The HS told me "Find J now! He's going to commit suicide.) So, I quickly got up (my two friends not knowing why) and started trying to find him in my house. I found him outside on one of my balconies. He was standing awkwardly on a stool and leaning over the edge. My apartment is on the seventh floor mind you!
Well after that, one of my two friends came out and insisted with me that J come inside and sit down. As soon as J was headed inside, I ran away from my friends and into my kitchen. My emotions were way too high at that moment. Having someone --- even if just a semi-close friend --- try to commit suicide in my house deeply disturbed me! However, it was even more disturbing because it also brought back memories of another friend and his attempt to commit suicide. At that point, I simply lost it emotionally and started weeping bitterly. I tried to not let the others hear me, but my best friend heard me and came into the kitchen to comfort me. She still had no idea of what had just happened. I told her about what had just been revealed to me and about my friend's attempted suicide. All I could do for quite a while was litterly just sob on her shoulder. Finally though, Jah calmed me and I went back to talk with J more.
As it turns out, that week J kept coming into my life. He was super desperate for kindness and help. He explained to me that week how he had come back looking for a job, but couldn't find one. If he stayed at home, he wouldn't be able to get a job, so he had to return to Meizhou. But, he'd returned with little money, no home, not many friends, and a strong sense of hopelessness. Even though I knew that J had always only used me in the past, I was shown quickly that this was a Jah-appointed opportunity to provide for him in many ways (love, money, housing, comfort, listening ears, food). Thus, that week became an incredible time for sharing about Jah and His love. Later, Jah did provide J with a job and a home and lots of encouragement too. (The job and home wer short-lived though, but now J has yet another job and home. His new job is really terrible though, and he still doesn't have much money. To make matters worse, his job won't pay him until June that is if he continues working for them until June!)
Now, let me fast forward a little to April. As far as teaching goes, that has gotten much better. I continue to have many opportunities to share and teach. (I still really love that part of being here!) Thank you all for your prs about more opportunities (in the pr part from last month)! Daddy has heard yall's prs and answered them. In fact, right after I learned that I was headed home many people that I've been sharing with called me to ask for more teaching times. As of last week, my school and my students learned of my departure. The reaction was both personally overwhelming and surprising! For me, it was a real eye opener from Jah to see that my time here has not been a failure and that I have been more effective than I thought. I also learned just how many students love me. (It's many more than I thought.) More or less, everyone here is sad about me leaving next month, and they keep asking me to stay in China for a much longer time. It has been hard for me to not get emotional when I answer their questions as to why I'm leaving, why I can't stay, and what I'll be doing when I go back to America.
I think I'll probably forget this next part by next month, so I'll share it with yall now. This past weekend was Easter, and in my opinion, it was the best Easter I've ever had! The holiday had so much more meaning this year as it became not only an opportunity to celebrate Jah and His life but also a time to share with lots of people who've never heard before. Back in February, my classes all switched meaning that I got a completely new group of students. I was excited as it meant I'd be adding another field to my garden to nurture. Last term I had a big Thanksgiving party for my students intended both to celebrate the real meaning and teach in a hands-on and memerable way. It wasn't until last Tuesday I think that I decided to do likewise with this holiday. (My Thanksgiving party still makes me laugh!) So, I invited all the Grade 1 students to my house. 102 people told me they'd be coming, but I didn't expect that to pan out; I was right, but still ended up having 80 students at my house! That's no exaggeration!!! I really had 80 students crammed into my house on one of the hottest days ever here!
The day before the party I bought 100 eggs (and drinks) some of which were boiled that night and others the day of the party. (A friend left me with some egg coloring kits a while back which is what sparked the whole party idea.) (The drinks by the way were consumed in like 10 minutes! Thanksgiving all over again!) I explained how to color the eggs after which some students crowded around my table to do exactly that. (For those who don't know, there's really no such thing as "standing in line" or "waiting patiently for your turn" in China; it's not even "first come, first serve" but rather a "push and shove to the front of the line to get any service" way of life here.) While students waited to color their own egg (a first for everyone), I explained the meanings of Easter. About two hours later, we all headed to the local park although by this time with maybe only 30-40 students and their eggs. It was Easter egg hunting time!
Now, somewhat to my surprise the other foreign teacher had come to my party that morning. She quickly included herself and was a big help entertaining students along with me. So, she and I headed to the park with a basket each full of eggs having previously sent the students on a long walk to give us time to hide eggs. As we walked the thought occurred to me, "Hey, these people are gonna think we are absolutely insane as we go walking through this park chunking perfectly good eggs out of our baskets (which had previously been used in a Buddhist funeral ceremony) and not only that but hiding them of all things!" I could only laugh, but my co-worker commented that maybe some of the bystanders would go and start finding the eggs before the students could get to them. As it turns out, she was absolutely right! That only added to making the Easter egg hunt totally hilarious!
So, we both start hiding all these eggs and all these people start giving us these weirded out looks. Then, lots of kids started following us and the students showed up early. They descended on the park/square like a pack of wild dogs racing frantically everywhere in search of hidden eggs. Because they had shown up early, my co-worker and I still had a good amount in our baskets. I was determined to still try to hide those remaining in secret. That plan was quickly foiled which only added to the fun and laughter. In the end, I just started walking around casually dropping eggs to the ground. Kids and students continued following me trying to edge each other out for a colored egg. It was so hilarious to watch! My favorite moment hands down has got to be the time I did that and one of the gardeners cutting bushes at the park simply walked back and picked up the egg I had just dropped (beating the students to it by far) and then proceeded to eat it right away! All I could do for the next several minutes was laugh hysterically! That morning from start to finish was such a barrel of laughs!!!
The next day was actually Easter. That day friends had made plans for a special luncheon for celebrating and sharing. The whole weekend from Good Friday to Easter I had been feeling more chipper than average, but Easter day was the pinnacle of these feelings. I was so super excited to go to that luncheon and bring six students. I'd shared with them previously, so I thought they'd be somewhat comfortable. Honestly, they were all uncomfortable but had a good time. Afterwards on the bus ride back was when I got to see more fruit from that morning and Saturday's party. Two students especially expressed strong interest in wanting to know more about Jah. One now has a Good Book. Although I had yarped that all of my students would become adopted that day, none were. However, my prs for them to understand were answered as a translator at the luncheon was provided; if he hadn't been provided at least two students wouldn't have understood anything. How wonderful for Papa to provide a translator!
Well, that wraps things up for what's been happening on this side of the world. As always, onto the most important part --- requests:
(1) Direction --- This is by far my biggest personal need now. I don't have a clue of what to do when I go home. I need to listen to Papa, let him guide me, and obey. First though, I need His direction. Lots of would-be, could-be plans but no light to show me the right path before my feet.
(2) Solace for people here --- More people want me to stay rather than go here. But, to do so would mean disobedience. Friends and students are really shaken by the news that within almost a month I'll be gone. I know my current students especially aren't anxious to meet their new teacher. In short, people just need Jah's comforting now.
(3) Protection from SARS --- I'm not afraid of catching it, but it is a reality here and in Hong Kong (where I'll be flying out of). Ask that Daddy keeps me healthy. Definitely don't wanna be quarantined upon my return back to the States. If so, I'll miss my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary; it's important to me to be there.
(4) Finishing strong --- Wimping out is not what I came here to do. Gotta keep my priorities staight and work here diligently while I'm still here. I do have to pack, but thinking about home and making preparations should not be priority numero uno. Definitely wanting more work while I'm still here.
(5) Continued healing --- A car hit me while I was riding my bike at the beginning of March. I was not seriously injured but definitely injured. The bruises to my legs and arms are gone, but the pain in my left arm is still there. The muscle is deeply bruised inside and some arteries were damaged causing some blood clots. I was told that it would take 6-8 weeks to fully heal, so it should all go away by the time I'm home, but please ask Jah to heal it more and more.
(6) "J" --- He called me this week and isn't doing well. His job is making him feel more and more hopeless. He's too prideful to ask many people for help and he refuses to go home. I truly think all of this is to bring him to the point of brokenness so that he'll desire Dad's free adoption. He's on a rocky road though until then. He know of Dad and how to be adopted but more or less has always tried to straddle the fence and call himself adopted while not wanting to embrace full adoption. Plead for full adoption on his behalf and for continued provision for basic needs also.
Tuesday, March 18, 2003
Months 5 1/2 - 8 Update
Hello again All,
I know it has been a long time since many of you have heard from me. I have been well, but from mid-January until mid-February I was on vacation and did a lot of traveling all over China. For me, it was both an enjoyable time and a time of learning. I understand more about Chinese culture now which is really good. So, let me jump right in and start sharing with yall what all happenened.
First, I left for left Hong Kong. I spent four days there. It was a very busy time, but in some ways it was also enjoyable and definitely encouraging. I learned a lot there and got to see many friends. For those of you that had been agreeing with me in pr about what to do after China, thank you! Daddy heard your prs and has given me more knowledge of what my life after China is to be like. I am very excited about getting this answer and about all that it means for the future. Already, that vision that he gave me in Hong Kong is being put into place here as my time here and my future go hand in hand. Daddy was also able to show me some very useful places with wonderful resources to be used here.
Next, I came back to Meizhou just in time to finish up my first term as a teacher. Grades were a killer to do but with Dad's help they were finally finished up just in time for a lovely dinner with the whole staff of the school. This was both a hoorah dinner as well as Chinese New Year's celebration dinner. (Our school had a one month holiday so everyone was on break on the actual New Year's Day.) This dinner was very revealing in terms of Chinese culture. To be very honest, it made me very sad because most people got drunk and I felt weird being surrounded by lots of drunk people who all justified their stupor saying it was fun. There were two children there, and seeing thier faces and level of uncomfortableness reminded me of the importance of family and purity.
After making a necessary stop back home, I headed up north to Beijing for a week. Going to Beijing from Meizhou takes a whole day over a period of two actual days. The train ride up there gave me some time to practice my Chinese, relax, and see many beautiful sites and snow! Seeing snow again was really precious as I don't get to see it often because I'm from Florida. My trip to Beijing wasn't a tourist trip, but for me it was a time to deepen friendships with those who live in Beijing; I was so pleased to see all my friends (except one who was in America for an extended Christmas holiday) including a friend I have been keeping in touch via email but had never personally met. I really enjoyed playing in the snow, relaxing, eating American food again, and spending time with or helping out friends. My trip to Beijing was also a good time to see Dad's power as He provided in major ways both there and back and helped defend me from constant sp attacks. I almost didn't go (because of pre-trip sp attacks), but I am so glad that I was obedient to Jah and went. And, because I traveled during the height of Spring Festival traveling I got to see China (especially southern China) become really orderly which is a change from the usual chaos especially when it comes to traveling and transportation.
After returning home, I then headed off to Dapu to visit one of my students. My visit came on the eve of the Chinese New Year. I had a really good time aside from being stared at like a freak show. (Dapu is a really country place; for some, I was the first non-Asian person they've ever seen. Some people actually came to my student's home just to look at me.) I liked going to Dapu (I had been once before) and was able to have some good talks with my student. Personally one of the highlights was getting to see a water buffalo up and close. Everyone there thought I was the weirdest person due to my request to go see the local water buffalo, but you know only in China can a person do some things. As it turned out I didn't just see one student, but I ended up visting two other students and visiting a fourth person (and their homes) in just a day and a half. That's a lot of meals and tea for anyone who's never been to China. It was like all I did was eat really good meals (because of the holidy) and drink tea.
After some difficulty finding a way home (because of the holiday), I finally made it home and was amazed by what I saw. People work non-stop here usually and until late at night. Yet, I returned to deserted streets at only 5 pm. I really was astounded! If I hadn't have seen it with my own eyes I probably wouldn't have believed it if you'd have told me. That night (the Chinese New Year's Eve) I took in soooooo many wonderful fireworks shows. I love fireworks and the Chinese know how to really put on good shows --- many times super gaudy shows. I was literally surrounded by 15 shows going on at the same time in every direction; they continued until 3 am the next morning. Every night for two weeks they would have fireworks shows; it was really beautiful! On New Year's, I went to a big flower show and spent some time with friends. We had a good time. And for the first time ever in Meizhou, I couldn't find any beggars anywhere! I was amazed at how all the Chinese people came together to spend time with their family even if just for these few days. (The Chinese New Year celebrations last for three days and are really important.)
My time home was very short-lived as I headed out the next morning for some more Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) traveling. I journeyed via a packed bus to Xing Ning for the first time. (My bus was an 18 passenger van with 39 people inside!) Never having been to Xing Ning I really didn't know what to expect, but I was looking forward to it because my visit would be to two sisters and a friend I've shared with often. Xing Ning totally amazed me! I went from village, to rustic country, to big city all in a matter of days in the same place. My visit there for almost a week was a real teaching experience. I stayed during two of the biggest days (Day 2 and 3 of Spring Festival), so that let me see Chinese people interacting with most of their family in a sorta family reunion setting. I got to see many of the famous Xing Ning sites and spend some quiet time with Jah too; He taught me a lot about myself and my walk then.
Well, after Xing Ning I came back to Meizhou. I was very happy to return home, but my time home became a bit frustrating. I came home to supervise some repair work at my apartment, but it didn't go as planned to say the least. Basically I was given the run around and lied to for a while, but as Dad says even the bad is really for my good. This was shown true to me when both my tv and phone finally were fixed. (This is no simple matter for around here and involves some not so cool decisions on the part of my workplace. I'll save the details for later cause they're long and ugly!) Aside from being more or less culturally frustrated, I had a wonderful week with my two best friends here. It was a time of fellowship and embracing the goodness of Daddy. It was also a time of more intimacy and opening up to reveal deep darkness which was much needed.
That brings you up to mid-February, and since then I've been teaching. My teaching has been keeping me super busy! My classes all got totally switched which means I'm teaching Grade 1 now. Grade 1 students at my school have a really basic level of understanding of English despite years of previous study. Only like three or four of my students can carry on even very basic conversations with me. They don't understand a lot right now, and I'm still trying to figure out their level of English. Most of my students are basically afraid of speaking and me. Since they had another teacher last term, they are simply uncomfortable with me, so rather than make a mistake they just don't speak. I am basically teaching a lot more than before and more than expected (because they understand less than I thought they should). Thus, before my classes were fun and relaxing; now they seem like a chore.
On top of all this, my school has been making some changes to English Corners. (EC's let students practice their English orally.) Now, I must say that for my school to accept change is a huge step if not monumental; China is extremely traditional so getting people to accept new ways of doing things is next to impossible. Although I support the changes, all of the work to put the changes into place has fallen on myself and the other foreign teacher. So, teaching more classes (14 a week plus an extra two-hour EC) and all the EC changes has basically meant all my free time has been spent at the school getting things all ready for either class or EC. It has become almost a daily struggle for me to come home and say, "I'm not going to work now. Yeah ... I have a lot more work to do, but I need to stop and spend time with Jah. I can't put work before Him." Until now, I have never had this problem, and to be very honest I don't like that I have this problem. I tell you all this not just to complain or make excuses for why you haven't heard for me in like two months, but I want you to understand things here and yarp for me.
Let me continue that thought a little more so that you will see why all this has become a battle for me. Since January, Jah has really been putting a deep passion in me to understand Him better and to not just read but to study His book. A few friends and I have shared lots of our darkness and pasts with one another; we are keeping each other accountable on some very personal issues. We are all being cleansed and growing in purity. From the end of January until the beginning of March, Jah led me through a season --- sometimes more willing than others --- of just me and Him. I gave up something very important to me during that season, and it was hard but fruitful. Part of that fruit has been a burning passion within me to spend hours with Jah forging greater intimacy. I am not the same person you knew in America because He is changing me and has changed me. I long for these changes and to be a cleaner, brighter light for Daddy, but that requires me giving up some things and time; thus, I don't want work to be a battleground used against me.
Well, that sums up all of what has gone on here for the past two months. Now, let me share with you the most important part of this email --- my requests:
(1) My job --- Ask Jah to give me the wisdom to know what how I need to teach. I have felt like a failure at work lately because everything I'm trying doesn't seem to be effective. I also don't work to come before Jah. Ask Him to give me the time I need to prepare for both my classes and EC too.
(2) Growth in Jah --- I so desperately want this. I am determined that there is no turning back but a continual pressing forward to become more of His likeness. Ask Him to help me continue sharing darkness with others so that my life becomes cleaner and purer.
(3) Work relations --- Some ties at work are increasingly becoming more strained. I called a meeting with my boss for tomorrow (Thurs) so that we can work out some things. There are also some problems with the computer teacher. I probably didn't say some things with the love that I should've and am to blame. I can accept that, but I don't want problems to continue between myself and others. Ask Dad to smooth out these things and to coat my words with gaerc, love, and also truth.
(4) My studies --- Since the holidays, my Book studies with others have basically all ceased. Only one original study remains presently. All of us are busy and need the time to come together. Ask Daddy to give us the time to have fellowship again. I really want this work to continue. For me, it is some of the most important work I do here.
(5) Chinese culture frustrations --- In some ways, I am still adjusting to the culture here. There are some things that I simply cannot and will not tolerate or justify here that are culturally acceptable (ie. lying, illegal copies of nearly everything). Lately, I have been really angry and aggravated with Chinese culture to the point that I just wanted to go home so I wouldn't have to deal with the frustrations and anger. Going home is not the answer (although it is a struggle sometimes to keep believing that), but I REALLY don't want to be this bitter, angry, and frustrated any longer. I definitely need to be changed some more!
(6) Summer Plans --- I will be teaching until July 4 after which time I'll be on vacation. There are many things I could do this summer. I would like to do many things, but I need the wisdom to know what Yah wants me to do. Ask for that wisdom to be given to me.
(7) More in the family --- PRZ the Father for adopting one more sis into the family just last week! One of the sisters only eight months old shared with her and she was adopted. It is really exciting! On a sadder note, one girl who had claimed to be in the family has abandoned her claim because she lost hope and didn't want to disappoint her family. (Her family is entirely Buds.) Please, keep ask Dad for more in the family at my school.
Thank you all for thinking of me and going to Dad on my behalf. Thanks for reading all this too!
Until next time,
your sis, Amanda =)
I know it has been a long time since many of you have heard from me. I have been well, but from mid-January until mid-February I was on vacation and did a lot of traveling all over China. For me, it was both an enjoyable time and a time of learning. I understand more about Chinese culture now which is really good. So, let me jump right in and start sharing with yall what all happenened.
First, I left for left Hong Kong. I spent four days there. It was a very busy time, but in some ways it was also enjoyable and definitely encouraging. I learned a lot there and got to see many friends. For those of you that had been agreeing with me in pr about what to do after China, thank you! Daddy heard your prs and has given me more knowledge of what my life after China is to be like. I am very excited about getting this answer and about all that it means for the future. Already, that vision that he gave me in Hong Kong is being put into place here as my time here and my future go hand in hand. Daddy was also able to show me some very useful places with wonderful resources to be used here.
Next, I came back to Meizhou just in time to finish up my first term as a teacher. Grades were a killer to do but with Dad's help they were finally finished up just in time for a lovely dinner with the whole staff of the school. This was both a hoorah dinner as well as Chinese New Year's celebration dinner. (Our school had a one month holiday so everyone was on break on the actual New Year's Day.) This dinner was very revealing in terms of Chinese culture. To be very honest, it made me very sad because most people got drunk and I felt weird being surrounded by lots of drunk people who all justified their stupor saying it was fun. There were two children there, and seeing thier faces and level of uncomfortableness reminded me of the importance of family and purity.
After making a necessary stop back home, I headed up north to Beijing for a week. Going to Beijing from Meizhou takes a whole day over a period of two actual days. The train ride up there gave me some time to practice my Chinese, relax, and see many beautiful sites and snow! Seeing snow again was really precious as I don't get to see it often because I'm from Florida. My trip to Beijing wasn't a tourist trip, but for me it was a time to deepen friendships with those who live in Beijing; I was so pleased to see all my friends (except one who was in America for an extended Christmas holiday) including a friend I have been keeping in touch via email but had never personally met. I really enjoyed playing in the snow, relaxing, eating American food again, and spending time with or helping out friends. My trip to Beijing was also a good time to see Dad's power as He provided in major ways both there and back and helped defend me from constant sp attacks. I almost didn't go (because of pre-trip sp attacks), but I am so glad that I was obedient to Jah and went. And, because I traveled during the height of Spring Festival traveling I got to see China (especially southern China) become really orderly which is a change from the usual chaos especially when it comes to traveling and transportation.
After returning home, I then headed off to Dapu to visit one of my students. My visit came on the eve of the Chinese New Year. I had a really good time aside from being stared at like a freak show. (Dapu is a really country place; for some, I was the first non-Asian person they've ever seen. Some people actually came to my student's home just to look at me.) I liked going to Dapu (I had been once before) and was able to have some good talks with my student. Personally one of the highlights was getting to see a water buffalo up and close. Everyone there thought I was the weirdest person due to my request to go see the local water buffalo, but you know only in China can a person do some things. As it turned out I didn't just see one student, but I ended up visting two other students and visiting a fourth person (and their homes) in just a day and a half. That's a lot of meals and tea for anyone who's never been to China. It was like all I did was eat really good meals (because of the holidy) and drink tea.
After some difficulty finding a way home (because of the holiday), I finally made it home and was amazed by what I saw. People work non-stop here usually and until late at night. Yet, I returned to deserted streets at only 5 pm. I really was astounded! If I hadn't have seen it with my own eyes I probably wouldn't have believed it if you'd have told me. That night (the Chinese New Year's Eve) I took in soooooo many wonderful fireworks shows. I love fireworks and the Chinese know how to really put on good shows --- many times super gaudy shows. I was literally surrounded by 15 shows going on at the same time in every direction; they continued until 3 am the next morning. Every night for two weeks they would have fireworks shows; it was really beautiful! On New Year's, I went to a big flower show and spent some time with friends. We had a good time. And for the first time ever in Meizhou, I couldn't find any beggars anywhere! I was amazed at how all the Chinese people came together to spend time with their family even if just for these few days. (The Chinese New Year celebrations last for three days and are really important.)
My time home was very short-lived as I headed out the next morning for some more Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) traveling. I journeyed via a packed bus to Xing Ning for the first time. (My bus was an 18 passenger van with 39 people inside!) Never having been to Xing Ning I really didn't know what to expect, but I was looking forward to it because my visit would be to two sisters and a friend I've shared with often. Xing Ning totally amazed me! I went from village, to rustic country, to big city all in a matter of days in the same place. My visit there for almost a week was a real teaching experience. I stayed during two of the biggest days (Day 2 and 3 of Spring Festival), so that let me see Chinese people interacting with most of their family in a sorta family reunion setting. I got to see many of the famous Xing Ning sites and spend some quiet time with Jah too; He taught me a lot about myself and my walk then.
Well, after Xing Ning I came back to Meizhou. I was very happy to return home, but my time home became a bit frustrating. I came home to supervise some repair work at my apartment, but it didn't go as planned to say the least. Basically I was given the run around and lied to for a while, but as Dad says even the bad is really for my good. This was shown true to me when both my tv and phone finally were fixed. (This is no simple matter for around here and involves some not so cool decisions on the part of my workplace. I'll save the details for later cause they're long and ugly!) Aside from being more or less culturally frustrated, I had a wonderful week with my two best friends here. It was a time of fellowship and embracing the goodness of Daddy. It was also a time of more intimacy and opening up to reveal deep darkness which was much needed.
That brings you up to mid-February, and since then I've been teaching. My teaching has been keeping me super busy! My classes all got totally switched which means I'm teaching Grade 1 now. Grade 1 students at my school have a really basic level of understanding of English despite years of previous study. Only like three or four of my students can carry on even very basic conversations with me. They don't understand a lot right now, and I'm still trying to figure out their level of English. Most of my students are basically afraid of speaking and me. Since they had another teacher last term, they are simply uncomfortable with me, so rather than make a mistake they just don't speak. I am basically teaching a lot more than before and more than expected (because they understand less than I thought they should). Thus, before my classes were fun and relaxing; now they seem like a chore.
On top of all this, my school has been making some changes to English Corners. (EC's let students practice their English orally.) Now, I must say that for my school to accept change is a huge step if not monumental; China is extremely traditional so getting people to accept new ways of doing things is next to impossible. Although I support the changes, all of the work to put the changes into place has fallen on myself and the other foreign teacher. So, teaching more classes (14 a week plus an extra two-hour EC) and all the EC changes has basically meant all my free time has been spent at the school getting things all ready for either class or EC. It has become almost a daily struggle for me to come home and say, "I'm not going to work now. Yeah ... I have a lot more work to do, but I need to stop and spend time with Jah. I can't put work before Him." Until now, I have never had this problem, and to be very honest I don't like that I have this problem. I tell you all this not just to complain or make excuses for why you haven't heard for me in like two months, but I want you to understand things here and yarp for me.
Let me continue that thought a little more so that you will see why all this has become a battle for me. Since January, Jah has really been putting a deep passion in me to understand Him better and to not just read but to study His book. A few friends and I have shared lots of our darkness and pasts with one another; we are keeping each other accountable on some very personal issues. We are all being cleansed and growing in purity. From the end of January until the beginning of March, Jah led me through a season --- sometimes more willing than others --- of just me and Him. I gave up something very important to me during that season, and it was hard but fruitful. Part of that fruit has been a burning passion within me to spend hours with Jah forging greater intimacy. I am not the same person you knew in America because He is changing me and has changed me. I long for these changes and to be a cleaner, brighter light for Daddy, but that requires me giving up some things and time; thus, I don't want work to be a battleground used against me.
Well, that sums up all of what has gone on here for the past two months. Now, let me share with you the most important part of this email --- my requests:
(1) My job --- Ask Jah to give me the wisdom to know what how I need to teach. I have felt like a failure at work lately because everything I'm trying doesn't seem to be effective. I also don't work to come before Jah. Ask Him to give me the time I need to prepare for both my classes and EC too.
(2) Growth in Jah --- I so desperately want this. I am determined that there is no turning back but a continual pressing forward to become more of His likeness. Ask Him to help me continue sharing darkness with others so that my life becomes cleaner and purer.
(3) Work relations --- Some ties at work are increasingly becoming more strained. I called a meeting with my boss for tomorrow (Thurs) so that we can work out some things. There are also some problems with the computer teacher. I probably didn't say some things with the love that I should've and am to blame. I can accept that, but I don't want problems to continue between myself and others. Ask Dad to smooth out these things and to coat my words with gaerc, love, and also truth.
(4) My studies --- Since the holidays, my Book studies with others have basically all ceased. Only one original study remains presently. All of us are busy and need the time to come together. Ask Daddy to give us the time to have fellowship again. I really want this work to continue. For me, it is some of the most important work I do here.
(5) Chinese culture frustrations --- In some ways, I am still adjusting to the culture here. There are some things that I simply cannot and will not tolerate or justify here that are culturally acceptable (ie. lying, illegal copies of nearly everything). Lately, I have been really angry and aggravated with Chinese culture to the point that I just wanted to go home so I wouldn't have to deal with the frustrations and anger. Going home is not the answer (although it is a struggle sometimes to keep believing that), but I REALLY don't want to be this bitter, angry, and frustrated any longer. I definitely need to be changed some more!
(6) Summer Plans --- I will be teaching until July 4 after which time I'll be on vacation. There are many things I could do this summer. I would like to do many things, but I need the wisdom to know what Yah wants me to do. Ask for that wisdom to be given to me.
(7) More in the family --- PRZ the Father for adopting one more sis into the family just last week! One of the sisters only eight months old shared with her and she was adopted. It is really exciting! On a sadder note, one girl who had claimed to be in the family has abandoned her claim because she lost hope and didn't want to disappoint her family. (Her family is entirely Buds.) Please, keep ask Dad for more in the family at my school.
Thank you all for thinking of me and going to Dad on my behalf. Thanks for reading all this too!
Until next time,
your sis, Amanda =)
Saturday, February 15, 2003
My Classes for your visit in March
Hello Mrs. Mary,
Really sorry that all this has taken so long to get to you. I got my work schedule today (Sunday), but the computers here have been incredibly poor lately. The servers have been down and modems have stopped working. It has been this way all across town for the past two days. And, just to send this it took more than an HOUR for this to open with MUCH pr. So, I do apologize, but that's the way things have been pc-wise as of late.
This is when I have classes (all my time):
Mon/Tues -- 2:30-5:15 pm Oral English and then English Corner
Tues night --- 7-9 pm English Corner (free)
Wed/Fri -- 8-9:35 am Oral English
Thur -- 8-11:40 am Oral English
I will only be teaching Grade One this term, classes 02A and 02B to be exact. I am sure that you would also be welcomed in Mrs. Agnes' classes (02D, 01A, 01B). Whatever would be convient for yall would be fine with me. I'll leave it up to you -- just let me know though. I will await your email response, but please be understanding of the probably lengthy delay in my response back. Oh ... if possible could you please bring some boxes of watermelon jello and boxes of chocolate and pistachio pudding for me. If not, that's okay too. Looking forward to seeing you again!
Can't believe how quickly time passes sometimes,
Amanda =)
Really sorry that all this has taken so long to get to you. I got my work schedule today (Sunday), but the computers here have been incredibly poor lately. The servers have been down and modems have stopped working. It has been this way all across town for the past two days. And, just to send this it took more than an HOUR for this to open with MUCH pr. So, I do apologize, but that's the way things have been pc-wise as of late.
This is when I have classes (all my time):
Mon/Tues -- 2:30-5:15 pm Oral English and then English Corner
Tues night --- 7-9 pm English Corner (free)
Wed/Fri -- 8-9:35 am Oral English
Thur -- 8-11:40 am Oral English
I will only be teaching Grade One this term, classes 02A and 02B to be exact. I am sure that you would also be welcomed in Mrs. Agnes' classes (02D, 01A, 01B). Whatever would be convient for yall would be fine with me. I'll leave it up to you -- just let me know though. I will await your email response, but please be understanding of the probably lengthy delay in my response back. Oh ... if possible could you please bring some boxes of watermelon jello and boxes of chocolate and pistachio pudding for me. If not, that's okay too. Looking forward to seeing you again!
Can't believe how quickly time passes sometimes,
Amanda =)
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