To all my friends and family,
Good to send yall another update. I'll jump right in and share about what all has happened on this side of the world. For starters, this past month has by far has been the most emotional. In part that is because, as you all know by now, I will soon be headed home. At the same time, I've been able to min more this past month than in any other month. Like I said in my brief email about me coming home, I still have mixed feelings about my return, but Daddy is showing me more and more that my time here has been very worthwhile. At this point, I truly don't think I'd have realized that had Papa not dramatically changed (in my eyes) what I thought was the timeline for my time here. To put it even more directly, Jah speeding up things has brought more m work my way than I believe would have otherwise come any other way!
Let me back up to things to things here being emotional for a moment. On March 22, I had a talk with a very important person here. Our talk didn't go so well, and in the end, it was then that I learned of my soon-to-be departure. I was crushed at the time in part because Dad had shown me that I needed His cleansing just prior to that talk. I walked back to my apartment and cried alone for the next hour. My only feelings were that I didn't want to go home and that I was a failure. After all my crying, my best friend here called me. She was very upset too. At the time, I couldn't tell her that I was upset because I would be leaving for America. (My school didn't know yet, and I had to wait until the important person talked with the school.) She was upset because she was struggling with what to do about a dating relationship and the involved feelings of that relationship. (Even now, she is still dealing with those things.) Later, the guy involved (who is a brother and friend Jah wants in my life) started calling me regularly. For quite a while I was stuck in the middle trying to comfort them and point them to Jah and His wisdom. So, my relationships with them became strained and emotionally draining. Over the past month, things between them have been up and down; they still need much direction from Papa. At this point, the feelings continue but the relationship has been dramatically changed to the point that it has spilled over into their meetings with the brothers and sisters. Emotionally, I think both are doing better, but I still understand that it is very difficult for both of them.
During this past month and around the same time as both of those friends were having problems, a former student ("J") came back into my life. J for a long time has had a series of disappointments. He was an excellent student at my school in the past, but the whole time he was a student here, he had problems with other students to the point that basically he was totally unliked. I don't understand much about all that, but I know it to be true. Anyways, in the past J has left the school to pursue various jobs, but for one reason or another, he has been fired from every single one! Now, honestly J is someone that I've tried to care for in the past, but he's also someone that annoys me quickly. Thus, after a short time I really wouldn't want to be around him, but I tried to bear with him and be Jah-like. J trusts me and has turned to me in the past to comfort and help him which has given me many opportunities to share with him. He's so stubborn and prideful (in part because of culture) though, so he still isn't our bro.
Anyways, like I said J came back into my life. He was disappointed as usual but this was more serious. Back in February, he was all set to take a job in Australia (a dream of his). But then, at the last moment, his granddad told him that he couldn't go and that he needed to stay home to take care of both him and his grandma. His grandpa called the company and very quickly, the company called J to tell him that he wasn't needed for the Australian job any longer. Needless to say, J was crushed; thoughts of this were on his mind when he came to visit me. Now, I don't know much about suicide, but I could tell that he was showing signs of wanting to commit suicide. J left late that night, but the next night he returned. On the next night, my two friends mentioned above came to my house. Even though, J likes them very much, his mood was about the same the second night. Just before they arrived, J asked to use my bathroom. (We had been talking for probably an hour just the two of us.) Then, my friends came and I sat down to talk with them. After probably ten to fifteen minutes, I realized that J still wasn't out of the bathroom. This seemed strange to me especially as I didn't hear any noises coming from my bathroom. (I thought I had heard him leave my bathroom as I got up to let my friends come in, but when he didn't return I thought I was mistaken.) Then, my sp was quickened by the HS as He came upon me and I knew I needed to find J right away. The HS told me "Find J now! He's going to commit suicide.) So, I quickly got up (my two friends not knowing why) and started trying to find him in my house. I found him outside on one of my balconies. He was standing awkwardly on a stool and leaning over the edge. My apartment is on the seventh floor mind you!
Well after that, one of my two friends came out and insisted with me that J come inside and sit down. As soon as J was headed inside, I ran away from my friends and into my kitchen. My emotions were way too high at that moment. Having someone --- even if just a semi-close friend --- try to commit suicide in my house deeply disturbed me! However, it was even more disturbing because it also brought back memories of another friend and his attempt to commit suicide. At that point, I simply lost it emotionally and started weeping bitterly. I tried to not let the others hear me, but my best friend heard me and came into the kitchen to comfort me. She still had no idea of what had just happened. I told her about what had just been revealed to me and about my friend's attempted suicide. All I could do for quite a while was litterly just sob on her shoulder. Finally though, Jah calmed me and I went back to talk with J more.
As it turns out, that week J kept coming into my life. He was super desperate for kindness and help. He explained to me that week how he had come back looking for a job, but couldn't find one. If he stayed at home, he wouldn't be able to get a job, so he had to return to Meizhou. But, he'd returned with little money, no home, not many friends, and a strong sense of hopelessness. Even though I knew that J had always only used me in the past, I was shown quickly that this was a Jah-appointed opportunity to provide for him in many ways (love, money, housing, comfort, listening ears, food). Thus, that week became an incredible time for sharing about Jah and His love. Later, Jah did provide J with a job and a home and lots of encouragement too. (The job and home wer short-lived though, but now J has yet another job and home. His new job is really terrible though, and he still doesn't have much money. To make matters worse, his job won't pay him until June that is if he continues working for them until June!)
Now, let me fast forward a little to April. As far as teaching goes, that has gotten much better. I continue to have many opportunities to share and teach. (I still really love that part of being here!) Thank you all for your prs about more opportunities (in the pr part from last month)! Daddy has heard yall's prs and answered them. In fact, right after I learned that I was headed home many people that I've been sharing with called me to ask for more teaching times. As of last week, my school and my students learned of my departure. The reaction was both personally overwhelming and surprising! For me, it was a real eye opener from Jah to see that my time here has not been a failure and that I have been more effective than I thought. I also learned just how many students love me. (It's many more than I thought.) More or less, everyone here is sad about me leaving next month, and they keep asking me to stay in China for a much longer time. It has been hard for me to not get emotional when I answer their questions as to why I'm leaving, why I can't stay, and what I'll be doing when I go back to America.
I think I'll probably forget this next part by next month, so I'll share it with yall now. This past weekend was Easter, and in my opinion, it was the best Easter I've ever had! The holiday had so much more meaning this year as it became not only an opportunity to celebrate Jah and His life but also a time to share with lots of people who've never heard before. Back in February, my classes all switched meaning that I got a completely new group of students. I was excited as it meant I'd be adding another field to my garden to nurture. Last term I had a big Thanksgiving party for my students intended both to celebrate the real meaning and teach in a hands-on and memerable way. It wasn't until last Tuesday I think that I decided to do likewise with this holiday. (My Thanksgiving party still makes me laugh!) So, I invited all the Grade 1 students to my house. 102 people told me they'd be coming, but I didn't expect that to pan out; I was right, but still ended up having 80 students at my house! That's no exaggeration!!! I really had 80 students crammed into my house on one of the hottest days ever here!
The day before the party I bought 100 eggs (and drinks) some of which were boiled that night and others the day of the party. (A friend left me with some egg coloring kits a while back which is what sparked the whole party idea.) (The drinks by the way were consumed in like 10 minutes! Thanksgiving all over again!) I explained how to color the eggs after which some students crowded around my table to do exactly that. (For those who don't know, there's really no such thing as "standing in line" or "waiting patiently for your turn" in China; it's not even "first come, first serve" but rather a "push and shove to the front of the line to get any service" way of life here.) While students waited to color their own egg (a first for everyone), I explained the meanings of Easter. About two hours later, we all headed to the local park although by this time with maybe only 30-40 students and their eggs. It was Easter egg hunting time!
Now, somewhat to my surprise the other foreign teacher had come to my party that morning. She quickly included herself and was a big help entertaining students along with me. So, she and I headed to the park with a basket each full of eggs having previously sent the students on a long walk to give us time to hide eggs. As we walked the thought occurred to me, "Hey, these people are gonna think we are absolutely insane as we go walking through this park chunking perfectly good eggs out of our baskets (which had previously been used in a Buddhist funeral ceremony) and not only that but hiding them of all things!" I could only laugh, but my co-worker commented that maybe some of the bystanders would go and start finding the eggs before the students could get to them. As it turns out, she was absolutely right! That only added to making the Easter egg hunt totally hilarious!
So, we both start hiding all these eggs and all these people start giving us these weirded out looks. Then, lots of kids started following us and the students showed up early. They descended on the park/square like a pack of wild dogs racing frantically everywhere in search of hidden eggs. Because they had shown up early, my co-worker and I still had a good amount in our baskets. I was determined to still try to hide those remaining in secret. That plan was quickly foiled which only added to the fun and laughter. In the end, I just started walking around casually dropping eggs to the ground. Kids and students continued following me trying to edge each other out for a colored egg. It was so hilarious to watch! My favorite moment hands down has got to be the time I did that and one of the gardeners cutting bushes at the park simply walked back and picked up the egg I had just dropped (beating the students to it by far) and then proceeded to eat it right away! All I could do for the next several minutes was laugh hysterically! That morning from start to finish was such a barrel of laughs!!!
The next day was actually Easter. That day friends had made plans for a special luncheon for celebrating and sharing. The whole weekend from Good Friday to Easter I had been feeling more chipper than average, but Easter day was the pinnacle of these feelings. I was so super excited to go to that luncheon and bring six students. I'd shared with them previously, so I thought they'd be somewhat comfortable. Honestly, they were all uncomfortable but had a good time. Afterwards on the bus ride back was when I got to see more fruit from that morning and Saturday's party. Two students especially expressed strong interest in wanting to know more about Jah. One now has a Good Book. Although I had yarped that all of my students would become adopted that day, none were. However, my prs for them to understand were answered as a translator at the luncheon was provided; if he hadn't been provided at least two students wouldn't have understood anything. How wonderful for Papa to provide a translator!
Well, that wraps things up for what's been happening on this side of the world. As always, onto the most important part --- requests:
(1) Direction --- This is by far my biggest personal need now. I don't have a clue of what to do when I go home. I need to listen to Papa, let him guide me, and obey. First though, I need His direction. Lots of would-be, could-be plans but no light to show me the right path before my feet.
(2) Solace for people here --- More people want me to stay rather than go here. But, to do so would mean disobedience. Friends and students are really shaken by the news that within almost a month I'll be gone. I know my current students especially aren't anxious to meet their new teacher. In short, people just need Jah's comforting now.
(3) Protection from SARS --- I'm not afraid of catching it, but it is a reality here and in Hong Kong (where I'll be flying out of). Ask that Daddy keeps me healthy. Definitely don't wanna be quarantined upon my return back to the States. If so, I'll miss my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary; it's important to me to be there.
(4) Finishing strong --- Wimping out is not what I came here to do. Gotta keep my priorities staight and work here diligently while I'm still here. I do have to pack, but thinking about home and making preparations should not be priority numero uno. Definitely wanting more work while I'm still here.
(5) Continued healing --- A car hit me while I was riding my bike at the beginning of March. I was not seriously injured but definitely injured. The bruises to my legs and arms are gone, but the pain in my left arm is still there. The muscle is deeply bruised inside and some arteries were damaged causing some blood clots. I was told that it would take 6-8 weeks to fully heal, so it should all go away by the time I'm home, but please ask Jah to heal it more and more.
(6) "J" --- He called me this week and isn't doing well. His job is making him feel more and more hopeless. He's too prideful to ask many people for help and he refuses to go home. I truly think all of this is to bring him to the point of brokenness so that he'll desire Dad's free adoption. He's on a rocky road though until then. He know of Dad and how to be adopted but more or less has always tried to straddle the fence and call himself adopted while not wanting to embrace full adoption. Plead for full adoption on his behalf and for continued provision for basic needs also.
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