A Day of Lasts

“Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.” - Philippians 2:4-5

Today has been my hardest day in Haiti as I know it is my last full day here. I’ve had to fight since the morning to not be sad (which would make me ineffective) but to put my all into today to live with no regrets. I think I am also tiredest today as if I can’t awake.

This morning we had breakfast with the team from South Florida before departing for our last day of VBS at the orphanage. On the ride to Desourcee I noticed the way the culture dresses here. I also noticed the architecture predominant here in Haiti. Though both are different from the US, I continue to feel at home rather than in a foreign country.

Our time for VBS was unusually rowdy. We taught in one big group with about 70 to 100 folks. Today we talked about forgiveness. I shared the story of Luke 15 and was a sheep in a skit. I also got to help pass out craft materials and later food and drinks. Sadly today, I saw greed in Haitians for the first time. It tempted me greatly to get super frustrated, but I walked away and cried out to Jesus. This encounter truly was my saddest point on the trip.

This afternoon I continued to teach Abigail how to play “Jesus Loves Me” on the guitar. She is remarkable on it! She will only improve though she is exceptional for only two days of playing! :) I also played with other children like Dorlie, got my hair styled by Cynthia (age 15), and talked with Marie. Marie would like me to return as would I. :) There were also times when I was able to help with the construction. The guys really accomplished so much upstairs construction-wise today!

Finally around 5 PM, we left the drive back to Demaus and the guest house. Many on my team were sad to leave. :( We arrived back much later than usual to be greeted by Junior and Levi. It was so GOOD to see them again! Then, we had a wonderful dinner --- rice with peppers, BBQ chicken, corn casserole, split pea soup, spicy salsa with meat, and Haitian sauce. The food was delicious as usual! :)

Tonight after supper I spent time with my teammates talking and interacting. I think my deepest relationships on this trip have been with the adults (Rochelle, Bill, Brian, David) and Jicole and Brad. Drew has also been particularly kind and interactive with me. Lord, thank you for my team and for these budding relationships.

Overall, I am sad to leave Haiti. I hope to return again. :) I am thankful to be changed from this time here and to simply have this experience. My prayers will continue to be with Haiti and its rich people. Thank you Lord for Haiti! May Your light shine brightly here and lead evermore to Your salvation. :)

VBS Bible Verse For the Day:
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32

“Okontrè, se pou nou aji byen yonn ak lòt, se pou nou gen bon kè yonn pou lòt, pou nou yonn padonnen lòt, menm jan Bondye te padonnen nou nan Kris la.” Efèz 4:32 (Creole)

Dinner in Haiti

Dinner tonight was delightful! We had beans and rice, mixed veggies, beef (like jerky), a sweet fruit dish, and spicy sauce. Prior to dinner Drew and I had a shared music time. We sang together as I played my guitar. Then, he shared his iPod with me, and we listened to Secondhand Serenade. They remind me so much of Miki and his songs so much so that I couldn’t help but laugh as I heard them. It was really very, very nice of Drew to share and spend time with me! :)

Just as dinner was about to start a group of Spanish-speaking Ft. Lauderdalers arrived. (We actually saw them earlier while driving.) We all enjoyed our delightful dinner and cake before we planned for tomorrow. It will be our last day at the orphanage. :( I will be in a skit, help with music, and tell the Bible story tomorrow. Afterwards, one of the girls said she would do my hair. We are also planning on giving some kids bracelets we made tonight. It was a lot of fun.

Well, everyone else in my room is sleeping, so I should to. Good night.

Haitian Church

An abundance of voices singing together abounding full-force from their hearts. Dancing to a rhythmic pulse. Love, friendliness, and openness to others. This is the Haitian Church.

Today I was very privileged to sing with, pray with, dance with, and worship with Haitian brothers and sisters in Christ. I truly loved it! :) Many other things also happened during the service including all of us on the team except for Bill sharing either an encouraging verse or story. I shared how the Haitian people are personally inspiring and rich and about Solomon (Ecclesiastes 12:13). I also spoke on loving God and others and being obedient.

After everything finished up, Sterline left my lap (she mostly slept on it) and two ladies thanked me. Then, we had a wonderful lunch - fried chicken, fried plantains, fried sweet potatoes, Haitian hushpuppies, fried cabbage rolls, and soda. Praise God for His many blessings and the pure joy to be with his people! :)

Reflective Vignettes of Haiti

How can I possibly begin to put down into words what I have seen and experienced today? It seems so hard since I have traveled into Port au Prince more today and since I have been incredibly reflective today. I will simply try to gather my thoughts into short stories rather than ponder on end about my day.

⓵ This morning shortly before I awoke God gave me a vision. He showed me someone who was kidnapped here in Haiti being rescued and set free. I did not see a face but know this was what was happening. This vision seemed to last 10 seconds but was profound.

In reality, kidnapping happens in Haiti all the time. People here are very hungry, many are out of work, and few are literate. Though wrong, kidnapping is a way of survival when it provides ransom money for dinner. For me personally, I know that I needed to share the vision with my team so that we would pray. Just as many people need to be rescued physically, the need to be rescued spiritually abounds. There is much darkness globally.

⓶ One of our teammates is named Bill. He has been down here many times. Just this past Saturday, a very close Haitian friend, who is a pastor-evangelist here, died of liver problems. He leaves behind a wife, eight kids, and a ninth born yesterday who was born prematurely and died shortly afterwards. His youngest, Bill was told, wouldn’t have died had the hospital simply been equipped with the tools to help premies. This too is common in Haiti. :(

⓷ While riding in our bus today, I realized that I didn’t feel like I was in a foreign country. I actually felt very much at home despite this probably being the most dangerous place I’ve been to YET. That feeling of “home” stayed with me throughout the day. I could see myself living here long-term, and that makes me feel good.

The other effect of being “at home” in Haiti is that it all the more verifies my identity in Christ. Simply put, today I was reminded that God has called me to GO and share His Gospel as a missionary particularly in places like Haiti, the dangerous, dirty, run-down places. I am not made for America, but for however long God places me there I will continue to be His missionary.

Today I am assured that if I should ever be given the truly wonderful gift of a husband that I can settle for nothing less than a Christian gentleman who is deeply called to missions. I do not think I could be content or obedient otherwise. So husband, wherever you are, know that I prayed for you today.

⓸ Americans are so selfish. Many think of nothing more than themselves and their family. What is up with that narcism? I think a lot of it stems from ignorance and sin.

Here in Haiti if people have food they share it with their family (which are usually very large say 8-10 people) and their neighbors. Haitians that are in America work not only for themselves but also to send money back to folks here. And those that have made it really big such as Wyclef Jean do even more. He has set up Yele Haiti Foundation which helps his home country.

Personally, I was very challenged to continue to be unmaterialistic and to continue to give to others. I must also help to share my stories and continue to travel and learn so as not to be ignorant. Above all, I must continue to share the Gospel so that light can shine into hearts filled with sin.

⓹ Haitians are inspirational people. They have joy and contentment with few material possessions. They share food and money with family and neighbors. They smile and are happy. To me, they are an incredibly rich people because they have learned to find contentment not in stuff but in helping others, sharing, and living simply.

Acceptance And Graciousness In A Field Of Poo

This morning we arose early to have brekky with the two departing groups also staying here. Then, we took our roughly 45-minute drive to Desourcee (the village). The kids were excited again to see us. I enjoy being here and with them very much.

Our VBS drew a smaller crowed than expected, roughly 110. We talked today about obedience. Jonah was our focus story from the Bible. Toward the end, I got to share the Gospel again verbally. God has chosen me for that at least these first two times. It is an awesome honor. I pray that many seeds were planted in people’s hearts. The children were more receptive to me at the VBS and orphanage as well. They seem to be drawn to the folks with blond hair; I have red. I have tried to no let it upset me but simply be open and let the children come to me. I will continue to simply be friendly to them.

Today Little Daniel and Sterline chose to be with me. I enjoyed loving them. Francessca and her mom chose me also. Francessca recently had a hole in her heart operated on. I was amused that her mom lovingly walked up to me, gave me a kiss, and immediately placed her daughter in my arms. The people are tremendously open and loving here. They are much more close knit than American families and really take care of everybody.

Today I also got to help with the construction up stairs. It was very nice! The guys accomplished so much today. Walls and closet shelves and door frames are now up thanks to their hard work and God’s grace. I also played soccer. It was the funniest thing playing on a field with lots of cow, goat, and sheep poo. My team didn’t win, but it was very fun. The Haitians were really gracious soccer players.

I am thankful that today was incredibly blustery. It kept us very cool all day! It also helped me not to get so sick on the ride back. When we got back, I had a very nice shower. It felt good to wash my incredibly wind-matted hair. :) I have also gotten to know Jicole, Brad, and Rochelle a little better tonight. I am thankful; I really had it on my heart to spend time with Brad and Jicole so that our friendship could grow. They are such a loving, young couple. I can tell that it really comes from their hearts!

Well, I am tired now. Tomorrow we are going to the mountains and doing some shopping. Praise God for this trip and His mercies to help me many times today to put down jealousy, pride, and selfishness so that I might humbly serve Him.

Things I appreciate more: grass, clean water, animals, safe roads that are clearly marked with line on them, cool breezes, fresh air, friends, and joy.

VBS Bible Verse For the Day:
“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right.” 1 Peter 2:13

“Soumèt devan tout otorite lèzòm etabli. Fè sa pou Bondye. Soumèt devan wa a, paske se li ki pi gwo chèf.” 1 Piè 2:13 (Creole)

The village and orphanage in Desourcee

Today seems like such a long but wonderful day. :) We awoke early to scramble for breakfast. I went down but did not have breakfast; prior to this trip I decided to fast this morning’s meal. It was a little hard as the food, especially the pineapple, looked incredibly delicious. I pressed on through though knowing that this sacrifice would please Jesus and was needed spiritually speaking. I spent my time praying and reading the Word! It was great!

We drove out to the village of Desourcee and orphanage. Marie was incredibly gracious and gave us a tour immediately. Then we sang with the kids. I don’t really know what I sang , but I enjoyed it immensely! :) Afterwards we introduced ourselves and broke into teams with Junior’s help.

Praise God for wisdom. Tommy and I had to work through some mishaps, and it all went smoothly. Today, I led music in my group. I prayed last night and asked for God’s help and was given the song “Jesus Loves Me.” That is what I helped teach the kids today. (BTW, there were 100-200 people at our VBS today.) At the end, I got to verbally share the Gospel. It was awesome! I am so grateful to able able to share about Jesus. :)

Next came lunch. We passed out half a peanut butter sandwich and a glass of gatorade. That was the entire meal, and we nearly ran out with so many folks coming in. I felt a little bad when I got to eat because we had so much more. (We ate after all but the orphans left.) Americans truly eat a lot!!!

I’m not really sure what was going on after all that. Some played cards; others colored. I ended up talking with teammates and Marie for a while. Towards the end I looked at the book with two Haitian orphans. I learned more French and used what little I already knew. French is really alluring and beautiful.

During the afternoon we also took a tour of the village. We saw homes, some animals, farms, and a clinic. It was all so rustic. I never would have known it was a village if we hadn’t gone there. It simply didn’t look like much. Yet, this is HOME to many people.

The drive back, lack of fresh air and breakfast, and my seat on the bus had me very close to the edge of car sickness. I just kept praying and mostly kept my eyes closed to not get more sick. When we got back I drank water and sat in the cool for a while. Having dinner soon after really helped. It was delicious by the way and included rice with peppers, curried fish (my favorite tonight), mashed potatoes, a veggie casserole, and the most wonderful carrots with tomatoes that I’ve ever had in my life.

Tonight after dinner I got to talk with some of my teammates. It was very enjoyable. I really have a great team. Tomorrow we teach the VBS again. I will review yesterday’s lesson and possibly help lead “Jesus Loves Me.” I look forward to it!

Things I appreciate more: non-bumpy, paved, orderly roads; three meals; American-size portions; being in Haiti; Brian getting to arrive tonight; water/gatorade; cool weather; and naps.

VBS Bible Verse For the Day:
"Pay attention and listen to the sayings of the wise; apply your heart to what I teach." Proverbs 22:17

"Louvri zòrèy ou, koute pawòl moun ki gen bon konprann yo. Chache konprann sa m’ap moutre ou la a.” Pwovèb 22:17 (Creole)

Welcome to Haiti!

Yesterday I left for Haiti. I know that God is on this journey with me. Yesterday morning on my way to pick up meds for the trip a semi nearly killed me; I believe I surely would have died if I would have been driving my car instead of mom’s. Praise God for my life and His daily mercy.

I met my group after packing for nearly the entire day. We left a little late and drove all night to Ft. Lauderdale to fly out this morning. It was really enjoyable to see my teammates and get to know them more through conversation. I ended up riding in both vans, so I got to spend time with all the teammates who rode down.

Now we are awaiting all of our bags at the airport and down one teammate who forgot his passport. Brian will join us soon once he gets his passport expedited to him in the mail. The ones who’ve been before said it took three hours to get their bags last year! It’s due to the lack of infrastructure. Today, it only took half that time. :)

Haiti is beautiful! It reminds me of China. It looks similar ---- the houses, the walls, the trash and people abounding in or near the streets. The walls are filled with colorful slogans/ads, and some of the trucks are even more colorful. I really like to see them! :)

Here at our home, a guest house run jointly by the Florida Baptist Convention and their Haitian counterpart, we have had two wonderful meals. Lunch was a double decker turkey and cheese sandwich while dinner was more elaborate. For dinner we had fried plantains, beans and rice, homemade pasta, pork, Haitian spicy gravy sauce, and a salad with a real kick. It was all so delightful that I wished I had two stomachs so I could eat more of it! A neat fact, today I found out that they eat cat here. We might try it. (I would like to eat it again as I had it in China.)

I am really enjoying my time with my team! :) We have had fun talking pictures, playing Bob (a card game), and making sandwiches to feed 100-200 kids tomorrow. What a blessing to be here!!! Tomorrow is our first day of VBS and construction. I will get to share verbally the Gospel. May the Lord be honored in what I say that His seeds may be planted and that He may be GLORIFIED!

These are the things I appreciate more already: three meals a day if I want them, electrical power that says on continuously, water, fans/AC when it’s hot, orderly airports, God’s grace to me here and protection, and civil peace rather than war and infrastructure problems.

GRACE - a really powerful read!

I am not perfect, and I hope that others don't see me that way. At times, I've felt like others truly perceived me as a goody-goody or holier-than-thou person, someone totally unrelatable and/or unapproachable. I won't get into those details; I'll just say that's those perceptions of me are false. I am human and have my daily battles against sin just like every other mortal.

So, this weekend while enjoying Panama City Beach, I continued to read Joyce Meyer's Battlefield of the Mind. Really, it was a continued attempt to put down lust in my heart, mind, and actions. What I ran across in my reading was surprisingly perhaps the most powerful, straighforward description of grace I've ever read. May it touch you as it did me ...

We have said that grace is the power of God coming to us, as a free gift from Him, to help us do with ease what we cannot do ourselves. God wants to give us grace, and Satan wants to give us disgrace, which is another word for reproach.

And the Lord said to Joshua, "This day have I rolled away the reproach of Egypt from you." So the name of the place is called Gilgal [rolling] to this day. - Joshua 5:9

The word reproach means "blame ... disgrace: shame." When God said that He would "roll away" the reproach of Egypt from the Israelites, He was making a point. Egypt represents the world. After a few years of being in the world and becoming worldly, we ALL need the reproach of it rolled away.

God's rolling away the reproach from us means that each of us must receive for ourselves the forgiveness He is offering for all our past sins. You must realize that you can never deserve God's blessings --- you can never be worthy of them. You can only humbly accept and appreciate them, and be in awe of how good He is and how much He loves you. Your mind must be renewed concerning right standing with God through Jesus --- and not through your own works. I know I don't deserve God's blessings, but I receive them anyway because I am a joint-heir with Chrit. (Romans 8:17) He earned them, and I get them by placing my faith in Him.

God is willing to give you mercy for your failures if you are willing to receive it. He does not reward the perfect who have no flaws and never make mistakes, but those who put their faith and trust in Him. (Hebrews 11:6) Whatever we do for God should be because we love Him, not because we are trying to get something from Him. Naturally, we should do what we can to live holy lives. But thank God, when we do make mistakes, we can be forgiven and restored to holiness, made once again blameless and above reproach --- all "in Him."

If you desire to have a victorious, powerful, positive life, you cannot be negative about yourself. Don't look only at how far you have to go, but at how far you have come. Consider your progress and remember Philippians 1:6, ... I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you.

Message from a grateful heart

Today I was really touched by God's love and mercies toward me. Lately, I can't help but be so grateful for little simple things like beautiful sunsets and amazing expanses of stars up above. I look at them and am just filled with an awe that my Lord would give me those gifts simply out of His love for me.

Today another thought went through my head. If I had had the summer I desired, then I would be traveling around Africa spending my time meeting my penpals there, enjoying every moment of ministry in a refugee camp in Uganda, teaching orphans in Ghana, and shadowing the caretakers of AIDS victims in South Africa. Instead, I am here in America and daily given opportunities to be with friends and family before moving to New York City for several years. It is amazing all of the relationships that have been positively impacted this summer because I am here instead of Africa.

My point in writing all of this is partially to simply express my gratitude and joy for what Jesus has been giving me lately. Yet, I also write to inspire all who read to seach for that which is good in what God has given them. I know things can seem pretty crummy at times, but I also deeply know that whatever is bad in man's eyes - if it is given from the Lord - then, it is being misjudged since He only gives us what He deems good.

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts. - Isaiah 55:8, 9

"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope." - Jeremiah 29:11

Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. - James 1:17

Wedding Vision – Parts I & II

Rarely do I have actual visions from God, but about two weeks ago I had a fleeting but penetrating vision. Two days afterward, I was given a continuation of that vision. There is more yet to come, but for now I simply must wait and live out what I was shown. What follows are parts one and two of what I have entitled The Wedding Vision.

Part I – I am dressed in a costly, satin wedding gown with a somewhat intricate shiny beading. I am hand-in-hand with my husband-to-be, and we are walking down the aisle to be married. Our walk is short and leads us down to an elevated platform for all to see us be married. It is only when we arrive at the platform that I realize who my groom is. I realize that he is Jesus. I remember looking at my ring and the elation and warmth that I feel throughout this vision.

(The day after I had the above vision, I read the following story from the book Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge. It immediately brought back to mind Part I of the vision, so I include it here for you to read.) The groom stood alone over in the corner of the room with his head down. As he stared at his ring twisting the gold band that had just been placed on his finger by his bride, tears trickled down his cheeks and onto his hands. That is when I noticed the nail scars. The groom was Jesus.

He waited, but the bride never once turned her face toward the groom. She never held His hand. She never introduced the guests to Him. She operated independently of Him. … Unfortunately, this dream illustrates exactly what is happening between God and millions of His people. He betroths Himself to us, we take His name (as "Christians"), and then we go about our lives looking for love, attention, and affection from every source under the sun except from the Son of God, the Lover of our souls.

Oh, how Jesus longs for His own to acknowledge Him, to introduce Him to our friends, to withdraw to be alone with Him, to cling to Him for our identity, to gaze longingly into His eyes, to love Him with all our heart and soul.

What about you? Do you have this kind of love relationship with Christ? Do you experience the inexplicable joy of intimacy with the One who loves you with a passion far deeper, far greater than anything you could find here on earth? I know from experience that you can.

Part II ­– It was late at night, and I sat reading in a corner of a lake house. I kept sensing a person about to come out from around the corner to watch over me and make sure that I was okay. This occurred more than once. I literally watched my daddy sleeping then too, and then the vision began.

I saw myself some time in the future. I knew that I was married in my vision. I was asleep in bed. Then, I saw my loving and strong husband come into the room. I continued to sleep unaware of his presence.

My husband was gentle and very compassionate. He came and made sure that I was perfectly fine and safe. He came simply to watch over me though I was clueless as to his care for me at that time and never once awoke. He kissed me and stayed for a time. After staying for a while, he left again. Yet, he returned time and time again to watch over me, love me, and kiss me.

After this second vision, I immediately thought of how God is always watching me. It made me think of him never sleeping and always protecting me from harm. This vision was filled with the same warmth and love as the first one. It made me long for a husband that will truly be like Jesus and like the husband in the vision.