Kinda emo now

Current mood: contemplative

Here I sit at my computer desk typing my first MySpace blog awaiting Janell to finish up her shift at work. I just had a wonderful conversation with my delightful friend Danny Fedor but the whole time he and I were talking this one thought kept running through my mind. So what was I thinking you ask? … Well, since yesterday I have felt so incredibly alone though surrounded by any number of people. It's amazing to me how we can get that way … but I know that it is truly how we feel sometimes and continues to be my prevailing, deep down within mood.

At the same time all of this is going on I am wondering whether it is godly or not to feel this way. In the past, I know that I would have thought it wrong to feel this way. Now, I'm not sure and not sure it's wrong either. Through it all I have been reminded by friends that care about me that what I need to do most is continue to just cry out to Jesus through this time and seek Him. They are right I know. So, I just had to literally cry for a bit this morning and talk with my Papa, my King, my Lord. I know that this is all mixed in with the tidal wave of changes that are thankfully happening in my heart and life now. Dogma is being crushed ... and that is WAY good!!!

I think all of what is happening in me now is summed up best in a song I recently wrote. It continues to be the expression of my heart set to music. So, I leave it with you now and the truths that ain't it so wonderful that Jesus never fails us or leaves us and that His plans are always better than we can ever dream!

The Path Unfamiliar (Written: 25 Aug 2007)

My heart is in need. Will you come and help me?
My heart is in need. Will you come and rescue me?

I want, I want to walk this path
I want, I want to walk this path
This path you've set before me, but I can only by Your grace.

Oh help me to see Your face.
Oh help me to see Your face.

You're asking my heart to become bigger than its ever been before
And all this necessary stretching is beginning to feel like ripping.

But have my heart anyways --- stretch it, fill it, transform it.
Take out the fear. Let only love abide.
Transform triumphantly all that's ever been inside.

I want, I want to walk this path
I want, I want to walk this path
This path you've set before me, but I can only by Your grace.