Wow! I had a lovely walk by the river today trying to find the end of a path in the shady woods. (Alas, I didn't after nearly an hour.) As I walked I thought about life and, in particular, this past year. I am glad that my walk wasn't just muddled by all sorts of thoughts but was intermingled by brief pauses to take in God's glorious natural wonders enveloping me in near silence.
Professionally, this year was one of most jam-packed. It didn't slow down from March 2007 on. I returned from a trip in Asia to lots of tutoring and a little bit of music instruction. I am thankful for the opportunity to teach about 200 kids this year from age three to nearly 22. I am also thankful to get to impact many more students this year directly because of the tutoring. I feel like I grew a lot this year as a teacher. It was definitely a new and pleasurable experience to RETURN to a school to teach a second, consecutive year! I am really going to miss my kids at both schools as I go to New York City to teach this fall.
Personally ... where do I begin. I think that this has probably been the loneliest year of my life. I have seen dearly beloved friends come and go. I had a close friend die even. Thankfully two friends that cut me completely off are now speaking to me and wanting to be a part of my life again. Along the way, I have had to learn many hard lessons and seen long-standing dreams be both shattered and begin to come to pass all in roughly a year's time. I have spent a great deal of time being remolded into a more loving, open, non-judgmental person as well. LOVE ... what a necessity and amazing quality to have put within oneself. WOW!
Emotionally, I have had it hard as well. My friend Miki says that I have "sensitive hands" meaning that I am bothered by little things that others don't even pick up on. I really care a lot for people and probably hurt more for them when they are hurting than they actually hurt. I've cried so much this past year out of that sensitivity for others. It is difficult to explain, but it is the real me; I am not faking my care for others.
As I think upon things now, I am reminded that I think deeply so often. That makes letting go very hard at times. Honestly, I have already lived an amazing life and look forward to the next part of the journey as I head to live in New York City for at least a year. You guys are all invited any time you want to come up and hang out. It gets lonely sometimes to go on all these adventures though and have no one to share the joy of the adventure with. Lonely ... that describes how I felt today more than once ... and thus I close still feeling a bit lonely.
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